


My Unforeseen Destiny

by Springdayvmin



Category: ASTRO (Band), B.A.P, GOT7, K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Blind Character, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Minor Character Death, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-06-14 22:25:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15398844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Springdayvmin/pseuds/Springdayvmin
Summary: Kim Yugyeom, a boy who lost everything he ever loved in one fateful car accident; his boyfriend, his eyesight, practically his life.Now Yugyeom has to live through the pain of losing his one true love. Will he learn to love again?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing this story for a writing contest on AFF. My prompt is:
> 
> 'Loving you is like picking petals from a flower. I hate you, I miss you, I hate you, I miss you, but whichever petal I end up with will you please come back?'
> 
> I do hope you enjoy this.

It was late in the evening, probably around seven thirty or even eight at night. I didn’t care about the time, however, as I dug through my closet for the perfect outfit. It was my third year anniversary with my boyfriend and he had something special planned. He wasn’t telling me anything, but I didn’t care. I was excited that I could at least see him. That’s what really mattered to me.

I picked up a red and black checkered sweater with a white collar. I debated wearing it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so. My boyfriend gave it to me for Christmas last year. And sure this date was important since it was our third year anniversary, but I wanted to save it for a very special occasion. It was only mid June. I was going to wait till the day Jinwoo and I actually met to wear this sweater. Cause that was the day I wanted to propose to him. September 4th, 2007, my first day of 5th grade. His first day of 6th grade. We went to the same school and instantly became best friends. It was my first day going to school in my home country. I was born and raised in the US, but my parents wanted to move back to Korea. And going into this country, I had no friends. But Jinwoo was there for me. 

Because that day was so important to the both of us, I wanted to make sure that day was perfect. I sighed and set the sweater down, glancing through the closet again. I figured wearing a sweater wasn’t a good idea anyway, considering it was scorching hot outside and Jinwoo hadn’t told me where we were going. I didn’t even know if it was appropriate to dress fancy. But knowing Jinwoo, he was never about class. If he had to wear a suit, he would throw a fit. Even at prom all he wore was a pair of khakis and a sweater vest. So dressing fancy was out of the picture. 

I pulled out a black tshirt as well as a black and grey checkered sweater. This would at least be lighter than the red sweater. I smiled softly and changed into the outfit I picked out. I then glanced in the mirror, fixing my hair and putting on my necklace Jinwoo had gifted me with. I stared at my bright orange hair, chuckling lightly. Jinwoo and I had gone to a hair salon earlier that week to get our hair done. He wanted something that would stand out. He went for this turquoise color, while convincing me to do orange. I never regretted that decision, either. Jinwoo honestly brought out the best in me.

With a deep sigh, I placed my phone in my back pocket just as the doorbell rang. I frowned slightly, wondering if that was him. If it was, why was he here so early. I glanced at the alarm clock, noticing it was only 8. He had an hour before he was supposed to arrive. Maybe it was my brother’s friend, or Yongguk’s friend. Yongguk was my brother in law. He moved in with my older brother, Himchan, a few years ago before they even got married. While I was still in highschool. Himchan and I have been living together since Himchan turned eighteen and my parents decided to go back to the states. They were tired of Korea and wanted to go back to their small mountain cabin in the middle of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. I didn’t blame them, but I also refused to leave here. So they allowed me to move in with my brother. I’ve never found any excuse to actually leave my brother’s house. He and Yongguk didn’t mind, either.

“Kim Yugyeom!” Himchan shouted up the stairs, causing me to jump a little. Loud noises always startled me for no reason at all. “Your boyfriend is here!”

“Of course he is,” I said with a small chuckle, patting my pants pockets to make sure my wallet was there. I then left my room, turning off the light and walking down the stairs. I glanced over at the door, spotting him instantly.

He was wearing his favorite pink, short sleeved flannel, over a white tshirt and black basketball shorts. I let out a small laugh, shaking my head. He was never one for actually matching. He had the worst sense of style, but I found it absolutely beautiful. He was unique and that’s what I loved most about him. Even if he looked like he was about to go to the gym. The shirt didn’t really look that great with his new hair color, but I wasn’t complaining.

“You’re here early,” I said with a grin, walking over to him and wrapping my arms around his short form to pull him into a hug. He was four inches shorter than me, but the height difference was perfect for the both of us.

“Of course I am,” he said, hugging me back. “You know how impatient I am. I wanted to see you.”

“You’re lucky I’m already ready,” I said with a laugh, pulling back and pecking him on the lips. “So are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?”

“Me? Tell you where we’re going?” he asked, his eyes going wide with a wide grin on his face. His smile only made his cheeks fuller, making me want to pinch them. “You think I’m going to tell you?”

“You’re so mean, hyung,” I said, rolling my eyes and backing up. I glanced over at my brother, who was watching us with a smirk on his face. “Hey, can you grab that bag I gave you?”

“The one full of secret sex toys?” my older brother asked, his smirk growing. This caused me to blush and smack his chest. He chose every moment he could get to tease me.

“They’re not sex toys, hyung,” I said, trying to glare at him. I was failing badly. 

“You got me sex toys?” Jinwoo asked, a grin appearing on his face as he joined in on the teasing. This is why I never let Jinwoo and Himchan around each other. They loved to tease me because of how red I turned. It never failed. 

“No, I didn’t,” I said with a groan. “Fine I’ll go get it.”

“Okay okay,” Himchan said, breaking out in a soft laughter. “I’ll go get the bag.”

“What’s in the bag?” Jinwoo asked, looking at me with raised eyebrows. 

“I’m not telling you,” I said, crossing my arms.

Jinwoo just nodded his head and the two of us fell quiet. It was a comfortable silence. Things rarely ever got awkward between the two of us. I looked him up and down, taking in his shining, brown eyes and his rounded face. To me he looked like an oversized puppy. Yet he had a spark in his eyes that has always drawn me to him. A spark full of life, fire. A mischievous spark that showed exactly the kind of person Jinwoo was. Jinwoo was a joker, someone who lived life to its fullest. He never let anyone take him down. He always did what he wanted. Nothing could stop Park Jinwoo. And that’s what made me love him the most. 

Once my brother came back and handed me the bag, I thanked him and then nodded at Jinwoo. Jinwoo grinned and waved me out of the house. I followed him with a skip to my step. Nothing made me happier than spending time with the love of my life. He was literally my everything. Sure I had other friends and everything, but Park Jinwoo was my life.

However, everything changed that night. 

 

Jinwoo and I were on the road for about an hour, and it was pitch black outside. We were on a busy road, about half an hour out of the city. Jinwoo was reaching over to change the music on his phone. As he wasn’t looking, I noticed a semi truck from the opposite direction coming into our lane. My eyes widened in fright as I shouted at Jinwoo to look up. 

My heart was pounding hard in my chest as Jinwoo tried to swerve out of the way. I couldn’t tell if Jinwoo turned the wrong way, but we were suddenly right in front of the truck, a large light shining right in my eyes. At the same time, there was a flash from one of the traffic cameras on the traffic lights in front of us. There was a ringing in my ears and I could see my life flash before my eyes. I instantly reached over to Jinwoo, grabbing onto his arm.

“Hold on,” Jinwoo whispered.

“I… I can’t see,” I replied just as the semi crashed into us. I heard glass shatter, but I literally couldn’t see anything but white. And I could still hear the ringing in my ears. Jinwoo felt limp under my arm, causing me to freak out. “J-jinjin! H-hey.”

“Gyeom…” he whispered, his voice hoarse and broken. “I… I love you.”

“Jinwoo,” I mumbled again, ignoring the pain in my body. I felt glass cutting my skin. But that wasn’t what was on my mind. Even though I couldn’t see anything, I reached over fully and shook my boyfriend. “Jinwoo, hey! Are you okay?”

There was no response coming from him. And I couldn’t hear anything over the loud sirens and horns from outside. I moved my hands along his body until I found his neck. I continued to feel his neck until I found his pulse. However, there was no pulse, and I felt completely powerless. I couldn’t see him at all, so I didn’t even know how to begin with CPR. I started freaking out, hyperventilating with tears running down my eyes. I couldn’t believe what was happening. 

“Jinwoo, please,” I whispered through a broken sob. “Please, y-you can’t leave me like this.”

I heard my door open, but I ignored it as I pulled my limp boyfriend into my arms, crying. My whole body shook as I held Jinwoo to myself, my heart shattering. That night was supposed to be special. He had something important planned, and now I’ll never know what it was. It felt like my whole world was torn from me. 

“Hey,” a deep voice said from next to me. “Let’s get you out of here. “

“N-no,” I whispered. “I can’t leave him. I can’t.”

“We have to get you both to the hospital,” the man told me. “Hey, let’s get you both out of here.”

The man helped me out, and I clung helplessly. Everything was now black and I couldn’t make out anything. I was shaking more and I couldn’t steady myself as they got me out of the car. The man helped me out and walked me away from the car. As soon as I was away from Jinwoo, I started freaking out. I tried to get out of the man’s hold, but without being able to see, I couldn’t really help myself.

“W-what about Jinwoo?” I asked, looking around but not really sure where to rest my eyes. I knew I was shouting. I probably seemed like a crazy man, but I could feel my anxiety bubbling in my chest. I was about to have a panic attack. “What about him?! What about my boyfriend?! He wasn’t breathing!”

“We’ll help him,” the man said, just as I ran into something hard. I doubled over in pain, grabbing onto my thighs that hit some sort of ramp or something. “Hey, are you okay? Please, you need to step up.”

“I can’t see where I need to step,” I hissed in pain. “I can’t see anything.”

“I didn’t know,” the man said, shock in his voice. “Alright, we’re helping you get into an ambulance truck. Please step up.”

“Can Jinwoo be in my car?” I asked as he and someone else helped me in. My voice cracked when I said Jinwoo’s name. “I… I can’t leave him.”

“He’ll be in here with you,” the man assured me. I slowly nodded my head, being led by someone else to sit down as soon as I was in the car. Second’s later, I heard them pulling a bed or something into the truck. I immediately knew it was Jinwoo. I reached over to him, searching for his hand. Once I found it, I squeezed his hand hard, sobbing once again. I knew I had lost him and I wasn’t sure what to do anymore. Everything was lost.


	2. Chapter One

“How’s he doing?”

“Not… Well. He hasn’t moved. He’s heartbroken. He’s been sitting by the fireplace in his chair this whole time.”

“What exactly happened? We heard about the car accident and everything… But--”

“Jinwoo… He was taking Yugyeom on a date for their 3rd year anniversary… They were hit by a semi. And Jinwoo…”

“Is gone..”

“Yeah. And my brother was blinded.”

“He was blinded?!” I frowned at that new voice. I didn’t recognize that voice. Only seconds ago the doorbell rang and Himchan left my side to answer it. I knew he was talking to my best friend, Bambam. But I didn’t know that other guy. I mean he sounded a little familiar, but I couldn’t pinpoint where I heard his voice before. It was warm and low, almost husky.

“Yeah,” my brother’s voice responded. “He says he saw the bright lights from the semi truck and the next thing he knew he was seeing white.”

“I also saw a camera flash,” I said, closing my eyes that were welling up with tears. I didn’t want to talk about this. I hated talking about this. I didn’t want to be constantly reminded that Jinwoo was gone. I didn’t want to talk about the car accident that made me lose everything. 

“Hey,” I heard Bambam say, from somewhere near the door. I then heard hurried footsteps coming my way. “Gyeommie.”

He was right in front of me. Maybe kneeling in front of me, but I didn’t know. He grabbed a hold onto my hands, his hands cold and small. Bambam always had the smallest hands and we always loved to tease him about it. They were soft, too. I tried to study the feel of his hands so I knew who it was if he were to touch me later. This was my life now. I had to describe and identify things by feel and smell and sound. I couldn’t go off sight anymore, and this honestly was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. It was like learning a new language that I was stuck with for the rest of my life.

“Hey,” Bambam said again, causing me to sigh deeply. I could imagine his worried eyes staring at me. 

“Bam,” I whispered, causing him to reach over and pull me into a tight hug. I hugged him back, burying my face in the cloth of his shirt that was resting on his shoulder. I started crying into his shoulder, at a complete loss of words of what to really say. I was hurting. I was missing Jinwoo. And I just didn’t know what to do anymore. It’s only been three days and I know I had a lot of healing to do.

“Hey, I’m here for you,” Bambam whispered, tightening the hug as he held onto me, letting me cry. His voice was soft, but I could also hear his Thai accent in his voice. Bambam is originally from Thailand. He moved to Korea when we were in highschool. He was in every single one of my classes, so the two of us became close. He was the one that pushed me to ask out Jinwoo years ago.

“I miss him so much,” I whispered. “I couldn’t save him. I was right there with him and I couldn’t save him.”

“Yugyeom, this isn’t your fault,” Bambam said, softly. 

“We shouldn’t have gone out last night,” I said. “Or I shouldn’t have let him drive. Or we should have left later or--”

“There was no knowing this was going to happen,” Bambam said, pulling back. I could see a dark outline in front of me, so I figured he was trying to look into my eyes. My eyes that can’t look back. I felt his fingers on my cheeks as he wiped away my tears. “There’s nothing you could have done differently. I wish I could give you a different answer, Gyeom. We all wish that this didn’t happen. But just know that this is not your fault. You couldn’t have prevented this.”

“Hey.” It was that voice again. Now that it was closer it sounded even more familiar. It had a velvety sound to it. But I couldn’t put my finger to it. 

“Who are you anyway?” I heard Himchan ask. So it’s someone Himchan has never met. I tried turning my head to the direction the voice was coming from, but god this was so hard.

“My name is Jeon Jungkook,” the unknown voice said, causing my eyes to widen. I knew that name. “I--”

“Mine and Jinwoo’s best friend,” I whispered. “From Busan.”

“Yes,” the boy said. I could sense him dropping down next to me. “I’m so sorry I didn’t make it before. I wanted more than anything to meet you and Jinwoo in person.”

“We’ve been waiting for this day,” I said with a deep sigh, trying hard to not think about how excited Jinwoo would be to get the chance to meet Jungkook. 

The two of us met Jungkook a few years back when we were playing a zombie game. Jungkook ended up being on the same team as us, and we were communicating through our headsets. We ended up getting along with Jungkook and did more and more missions with him. It went from playing the zombie game, to playing other games, to exchanging contact information, to talking every single day on social network. We’ve skyped a few times as well. The three of us became inseparable. Jinwoo and I tried many times to invite Jungkook here, but Jungkook ended up passing an audition for an entertainment company. 

Jungkook is now supposed to be in the US, working on his dancing. He’s supposed to be training. Jinwoo and I were planning to follow him, but of course that can’t happen now. How could I dance and sing when I couldn’t see? I sighed and tilted my head to the side, trying to figure out what to say to Jungkook. I’ve wanted all my life to meet him. And now here he was. But I couldn’t see him. I knew what he looked like, but I didn’t KNOW. I reached my hand out in search of him. He seemed to have understood as he grabbed my hand in his. His hand was a different feel.  They were warm but rough. And very dry. A gamer’s hands. I let out a sad smile as I squeezed his hand. 

“Too bad I can’t actually see you, huh?” I said with a sad chuckle. “Too bad h-he…”

“I know,” Jungkook said, his voice soft. “I wish we could’ve met in better circumstances.”

“How did you know to come?” I asked. “To find Bam?”

“I saw… Messages… about Jinwoo on Facebook,” Jungkook said, taking my other hand and rubbing circles on my hands with his thumbs. “And you didn’t post anything. I was worried. And scared. I… I found Bambam because I remember you guys talking about him. And he said he knew about me. He helped me get here. I came as soon as I could.”

“It means alot, really,” I said. I knew I sounded broken. And I knew he could pick up on that. I didn’t know where to begin to mourn Jinwoo’s death. “W--what about training? What about becoming an idol?”

“My company is working with me on that. I probably won’t be able to debut as soon as I want,” he told me. “But that doesn’t matter to me right now. You do.”

I nodded my head, tears appearing in my eyes again. I knew Jungkook was close with us, but I didn’t know he would take these extremes to get to us. But who wouldn’t go to their best friend when they found out that friend passed away? Now he’s postponing his dream to debut to be with me. And that really did mean alot. To have him here. To actually meet him. 

I felt a breeze coming in from the open window, causing me to shiver a little. Despite it being summer, I’ve been feeling very cold these last couple of days. I don’t know if it was because of the accident or what, but I didn’t like it. I sighed for the hundredth time, not even sure of what to say. I couldn’t say anything, however, because the doorbell rang once again. I moved my head towards the direction of the door, wondering who it could be.

“I’ll get it,” Himchan told me. I could hear the small smile in his voice. He was probably happy that I was actually talking and interacting with people. I’ve been ignoring him and Yongguk this whole time. Because I haven’t been in the right mind to talk. 

“Hi, uh, this is Yugyeom’s house, right?” I heard a very familiar voice ask. This almost threw my emotions overboard once again. It was Jinwoo’s younger brother. Minhyuk.

“Uh, yeah, it is,” I heard Himchan replied. “You’re… Jinwoo’s brother, right?”

“Yeah,” the young boy replied. “Um… Can I see him?”

“Yeah, come in,” Himchan responded. I then heard footsteps as they made their way back towards us. I tried to look in their direction, without seeing. I could see a dark outline, but that was about it. 

“He can’t see you waving,” Bambam spoke up, causing me to bite my lip and lower my head. He must have been trying to wave at me. I felt stupid that I couldn’t see that. 

“He… can’t see me?” Minhyuk asked in confusion. I could imagine Bambam nodding his head. “He… Lost his eyesight?”

“During the accident,” Himchan confirmed. I bit my lip harder, trying to keep my new tears from spilling over once again. I was always close to Minhyuk as well. He used to hang out with Jinwoo, Bambam and I when we went out.

“I… I didn’t know,” Minhyuk said. He was right next to my left ear. I turned my head towards him so that I was facing his direction. “Hyung, I’m… I’m sorry I haven’t visited you since the accident. W-with my brother… And the accident… And funeral preparations… I’ve been a wreck. My parents have been a wreck. And we know that you must be too. I can’t imagine… Being there. And I’m sorry.”

“I don’t blame you,” I told him. I really didn’t. I’ve never seen a pair of brothers as close as Minhyuk and Jinwoo were. “I’ll never blame you.”

“I came today because… We want you to come to the funeral. I mean no one deserves more than you to be there,” Minhyuk said. “And my parents… Both of them want you to write the eulogy.”

“When’s the funeral,” I said, closing my eyes tightly again and letting out a couple deep breaths. I didn’t want this to be final. A funeral meant it was really the end. And then there was the burial. I couldn’t even think about it. “Is he... getting cremated?”

“He’d hate us if we just buried his bones,” Minhyuk said with a small chuckle. I could hear the sadness coming of that chuckle. And I knew just how torn Minhyuk was from that alone. “You know how much he studied the supernatural. No, we’re getting him cremated after the funeral. It’s an open casket funeral.”

“I’ll be there,” I told him. I then reached over to hug him, which he accepted instantly. I hugged him close as he started to cry into my shoulder. The sobs he let out that moment proved just how broken he was. “I promise, I’m not missing this. I would never miss this. It’s… It’s the last special event I can make it to of his. I’ll be there.”

Minhyuk nodded, burying his face in my chest. To lose a boyfriend was one thing. But to lose your brother was a whole other world. Especially when you had the kind of relationship these two had. I vowed from that moment on that I would be there for Minhyuk despite how broken I may be. Minhyuk is now my priority. Forever and always. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a trailer I made for this story if you guys wanted to see it :) Thank you everyone for the support you're giving me in this!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOBb0Na9iBo


	3. Chapter Two

Jungkook stayed over that night, keeping me company and helping me with the eulogy I had to write. I ended up asking Jungkook to do it for me because, for one, I couldn’t write anymore, and for another, I knew I was going to break down while speaking. I’ll go up to the podium with him to give the speech, but I knew that if it wasn’t me, Jinwoo would want Jungkook to do this. He’s never claimed anyone closer to him than me and Jungkook. Well, other than Minhyuk that is, but that’s a given. 

It was now the morning of his funeral. I had in my pocket the ring I was going to give him when I proposed. Of course that’s never going to happen now, so I felt it would be best if I gave the ring to his parents. I didn’t know what they would do with the ring, but it was the best option I could think of. I couldn’t keep thinking of the proposal I wanted to do, or else I would go crazy.

Jungkook and Himchan led me up the steps to the church. I clung onto my support cane with one hand, my eyes covered by sunglasses. Himchan was holding tightly onto my free arm while Jungkook gave me directions as I walked. Because this was my first time attempting to walk after getting out of the hospital, I was terrified. I didn’t want to ran into anything. 

“Yugyeom,” a voice said, causing me to move my head around to find the source of the voice. It was Jinwoo’s mother. “Oh my god, poor child.”

“Mrs. Park,” Himchan greeted as the woman pulled me into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, baby. You’ve been like a son to me all these years and I didn’t come to visit you after his death. You were there and you were hurt too,” she said. I sighed deeply, not ready to hear any of this. My whole body was shaking as she hugged me. I knew I was about to break down any moment now. 

“Mom!” I heard Minhyuk’s sharp voice shout, causing the woman to pull away from me. I shakily put my hand in my pocket, taking out the ring box and reaching forward, expecting Mrs. Park to take it.

“This,” I said, my voice breaking again. I would have dropped the box if someone didn’t take it out of my hands. “I… I was going to propose to Jinwoo this September… I was waiting for the perfect time… I..”

My voice started to waver as more tears appeared in my eyes. I couldn’t continue talking, but she seemed to understand. Everyone was silent, and I sat there with my eyes squeezed shut. I tried to control my breathing, but nothing helped. I let out a soft sob as I thought of Jinwoo once again.

“Honey,” Mrs. Park said again, but that didn’t stop me from crying. “It’s beautiful. We’ll put this in his memorial display.”

I just nodded my head, not sure how to respond to that. I was about to start walking inside, but someone grabbed my wrist. It was her hand again. I recognized the feel. I felt something in my hand. It was a chain. And on the chain was a ring.

“I know you were going to wait till September to propose to him,” she told me, softly. “But he was going to propose to you the night of the accident. He planned it all out for you. He remembered what you said your favorite vacation spot was. He was bringing you there for a moonlight picnic. And he was going to ask you to marry him. I helped him with the food and Minhyuk set up the picnic spot for you guys. They found this ring in his pockets at the hospital. This was his engagement ring for you. And you… You’re the only one who should have this ring.”

Those words are what really made me breakdown. I fell back into the chest of my brother in law, who I knew was behind me. I’ve always known what his embrace felt like, so it wasn’t hard to figure it out as he held onto me. I felt Himchan’s familiar arms wrap around me as I sobbed into his arms. My whole world had already crashed down on me, and now all I got was a constant reminder of what could have been. 

“I’m sorry,” Mrs. Park said. I then heard the clink of her heels as she walked away. I took a few moments to calm down. Once I did, I slowly straightened out and nodded at my brother.

“I… Is he in the casket?” I asked, hoping Minhyuk was still there.

“He is,” Minhyuk told me. “But the service is about to start… No one’s allowed up there. They won’t even let me up to the casket.”

“Let’s go inside,” I said, letting the others continue to lead me inside. Himchan kept leading me, telling me how I was in the front row, but he would be sitting right behind me. He informed me that Jungkook would be next to me. I nodded my head and let them help me sit down in my chair.

“Yuggy,” I heard the familiar voice of one of my friends, Jackson, say. His Korean accent was thick and his voice was gruff. I turned my head in the direction of his voice, just as I heard the voices of my other friends as well. The group of six I always hung out with when I wasn’t with Jinwoo were here. They were also my dance group. “Hey, Bam told us everything. I… I’m so sorry.”

“Will everyone stop apologizing?” I asked, feeling annoyed. I hated those words now. I hated hearing it. Cause it meant everything was over. I tightened my hold on the ring in my hand. “Please.”

“Right,” the voice of my friend Mark said, his voice laced with his American accent. I felt a hand on my shoulder, but I couldn’t pinpoint whose it was. I could only guess it was Mark’s. “Hey, we’re here for you no matter what. We know this is hard. All of it is hard. But we’re not going to leave your side.”

I turned my head, not really wanting to talk anymore. But they didn’t seem to understand. They only one who understood my social cues was Jinwoo, and he wasn’t here. And of course before I could get my friends away, I heard the voices of Jinwoo’s and Minhyuk’s friends. Their childhood friends who grew up in their neighborhood. And they were making their way towards me. I bit the inside of my cheek, not sure of how to talk with them.

“Yugyeom,” the voice of Jinwoo’s best friend, Myungjun, said. Tears appeared in my eyes for the hundredth time. I felt like I was suffocating with all this attention. “Hey--”

“Let’s all give him some space,” Jungkook said from next to me, his voice almost husky.

“Jungkook’s right,” Bambam’s soft voice agreed, causing me to thank the heavens for my two best friends. “Leave him alone guys. He can only take things in small doses. It’s already hard for him to be here.”

“Let’s all be seated,” a new voice said from in front of me. A booming, stern, voice coming from speakers all around. It had to be the priest, speaking into the microphone. And then the sermon started. I tuned myself out, knowing I would cry the whole time. And it would be ugly. I heard the priest’s voice, but I didn’t hear his words. It was the same with Jinwoo’s parents and brother. I almost didn’t hear when the priest asked me up. I sat quietly until Jungkook tapped me on the shoulder.

“Hey,” he said. “It’s your turn. Do you want to go up?”

“I need to,” I whispered, nodding my head. Jungkook helped me stand up and led me to the podium. I was so glad I couldn’t see the people staring at me. I could feel their eyes, but without seeing them it didn’t make me feel uneasy like it would have in the past. With Jungkook’s hand resting on me I felt comforted.

Jungkook guided me so that I could speak into the microphone. My hand grabbed a hold of the mic, feeling the cold material under my hand. I took a deep breath, steadying myself. I then closed my eyes, picturing Jinwoo’s face. His smile. I opened my eyes again, knowing I had to hold it together. Thinking of him doesn’t help me. 

“Hi,” I said into the mic to the silent room. I grabbed onto Jungkook for support. “I… I asked Jungkook here to do the eulogy in my place. Because… I was blinded during the accident and… I can’t write now… And Jungkook said he’d help me. He… He wrote down what I wanted to say and what he wants to say. As you all know, or should know… I’m Jinwoo’s boyfriend of 3 years. Best friend of eleven. He…-- Jungkook, I can’t.”

“It’s okay,” Jungkook assured me, taking the lead. I heard him take a deep breath before continuing. His voice was lower than normal. Focused. “Hi guys, my name is Jeon Jungkook. I’m Jinwoo’s and Yugyeom’s best friend. You guys probably don’t know me because I’ve only ever talked to them online. But… Well we’ve been inseparable for a long time, the three of us. Jinwoo and Yugyeom... they did everything they could to convince me to come to Seoul. And I was on my way to do so a few months back… But then I got a call from the entertainment company I auditioned for. They said I passed my audition and they wanted me to start training immediately. Jinwoo and Yugyeom.. Both of them were so supportive of me. They forced me to take the company’s offer. To go to the US to work on my dancing. Jinwoo especially believed that I could do anything I set my mind to. If it was my dream, then he wanted me to follow it. I honestly don’t think anyone believed in me more than him. He cared so deeply about someone he never met personally and that alone shows the kind of person he was. But he didn’t love anyone more than he loved Yugyeom. 

“Yugyeom and Jinwoo met eleven years ago. It was Jinwoo’s first day of sixth grade, and Yugyeom’s first day of fifth grade,” Jungkook continued. “Yugyeom was new to the school and new to the country. Jinwoo did everything in his power to make sure Yugyeom was happy. He befriended him instantly and stuck to his side through everything. He wouldn’t let anyone touch his friend. Yugyeom has always been more fragile from what I’ve been told. More sensitive. Jinwoo knew that and Jinwoo made sure Yugyeom knew that he was his guardian angel. And their friendship… It turned into love. And their love grew every day, every year. I remember the day they got together. How happy both of them were. We were actually doing a mission on Overwatch. We were on a small team with two or three other people and we were all on voice chat. The two of them were arguing about something, but then Jinwoo shot down some enemy. I remember Yugyeom going ‘Holy hell. You did it. I love you.’ Jinwoo was laughing it off with the rest of us. However, Yugyeom got all serious as was like ‘No, but seriously. I love you, hyung.’”

I let out a small, embarrassed smile and lowered my head. I remembered this day so clearly. The argument me and Jinwoo were having. It was the stupidest argument ever, honestly. We were arguing over who was playing the better character. Even arguing over how badly the other played. I was so angry that I let my emotions spill over. I ending up admitting my feelings to Jinwoo in front of a bunch of people I didn’t know. Even though it was only through voice chat.

“It was so quiet after that,” Jungkook said, bringing me back to reality. “No one said a word. Jinwoo wasn’t laughing anymore. All we could hear was the game doing it’s thing. A couple moments later Jinwoo went ‘I love you too. Let’s date.’ I honestly couldn’t be happier for the two. And I was here the whole time as their relationship grew. I saw everything, heard everything from the both of them. Any arguments they may have had, I got every single rant from both sides. Every event or date they planned, they talked with me about it. I heard about how Yugyeom wanted to propose to Jinwoo but wanted to wait for a very special occasion. But Jinwoo… He wanted to propose on their third year anniversary. The two of them… They were on their way to their date. To the place where Jinwoo was gonna propose… And that’s when the accident happened. After the accident, I came to be by Yugyeom’s side. To pay my final respects to my best friend. And… Jinwoo was a really great guy. A really great friend. And for Yugyeom, he was the best lover a man could have. I regret every moment that I never got to meet him in person.”

Once Jungkook was done talking, I sensed him moving back. I awkwardly bowed to the audience, worried about my balance as I did so. When I felt like I was falling, I quickly straightened up, grabbing onto Jungkook’s arm. Jungkook steadied me, giving my arm a gentle squeeze before helping me off the stage. I honestly felt helpless and it was kind of embarrassing. I hated having to lean onto someone for support. But I also knew that Jungkook wasn’t going to let anything happen to me. Because we both know that I’ve already went through way too much. So I let him lead me off stage and back to my seat. When we were seated, I took the necklace that was clenched in my hand and put it over my neck. This was the one piece of Jinwoo that I still had that I wasn’t going to let go of. I was going to hold onto it with everything I got. I was going to make sure Jinwoo always lived on within my heart. I was going to try and stay strong for him. For the love of my life. Because that was all I could do. Because that was the only thing that would keep me going.


	4. Chapter Three

“Hey guys,” Bambam’s voice shouted through the house, causing me to look up from the show I was ‘watching’. More like Jungkook got me set up with Netflix on the tv. He put the settings so that I could listen to all the details of the show, whether it was an action or something else. Making it easier so that I could watch something.

It’s been a week since Jinwoo’s funeral. A week and a half since his death. And I was coping. As much as I could, that is. I had therapy earlier in the week to talk about my lost sight. The doctors gave me different tips that would help me get used to my new situation. Jungkook also stayed by my side. He’s been staying at my house, refusing to go back to training. He didn’t want to leave me. And I honestly couldn’t thank him enough. It meant the world to me to have a friend like Jungkook. My other friends visited, especially Bambam, but none of them were as proactive with my situation than Jungkook was. And this was the reason why Jungkook meant so much to me.

“They’re in his room,” I heard Yongguk’s annoyed reply. I couldn’t blame him. He was trying to sleep, as he worked the graveyard shift tonight, and having Bambam there shouting wasn’t really the most ideal thing. 

“Thanks hyung!” Bambam cried out. I could hear his feet bounding up the stairs as he came running towards my room. I rolled my eyes, sitting up in my bed. 

“What’s Bam doing here?” I asked Jungkook, who was sitting next to me. I honestly wasn’t sure what he was doing, since he’s been quiet the whole time. 

“Remember how you were talking about wanting to play again?” Jungkook asked. I nodded my head slowly. “Well I talked to him and he agreed to be your eyes. He and I both know you have the keys on your controller memorized. You just need someone to guide you. We can play two player on an easy game. See if our gaming crew is on. Catch up with everyone. I know… it’s going to be different.. And if you don’t want to..”

“I was more of the gamer than Jinwoo was,” I said with the shake of my head. “Let’s do it. But start off easy.”

“Agreed!” Jungkook cried out. I could hear the smile in his voice. Which made me smile as well. 

“Hey guys!” Bambam cried out, causing me to nod my head. “So I just have to narrate what’s going on in the game?”

“Yes,” Jungkook said, getting off the bed. I listened to the sound of his feet as he made his way over to the tv. I heard the tv tell us how the source was changing and how we were going into PlayStation. I then listened to it say that Jungkook clicked on Vamp City. Some game Jungkook’s been obsessed with for a very long time. After that, the tv was silent. Jungkook then walked back over to me, placing something in my hands. I grabbed a hold onto it, feeling the familiar shape of my game controller. He then placed my headset on my ears. “I pulled the mic down for you.”

“Thanks,” I said, listening to the familiar sounds of the game. 

“I messaged the crew. There’s a few people logging in right now,” Jungkook told me. I nodded my head, moving the arrow on my remote around until I heard the game say the name of my favorite character. I selected it and waited for Jungkook to choose his. Once he did, I waited like I always have in the game’s waiting room for our crew to join in. “Who’s online?”

“The whole crew,” the familiar voice of our friend, Mingyu, said. “Except Yugyeom and Jinwoo. They’ve been off the grid for a while. You have too, JK.”

“Ah,” Jungkook said, the worry back in his voice. I knew he was looking at me now. “No… they went off the grid cause…”

“Jinwoo passed away in an accident,” I said, trying not to let tears well up in my eyes. I tried to avoid this subject at all costs. 

“Oh crap,” the quiet voice of our friend, Jaehyun, said. “Dude. We didn’t know.”

“It’s okay,” I tried to convince them. “Jungkook’s been here for me. I’m… still grieving. But he would want me to live life you know?”

“And you’re not alone,” Bambam said from next to me. “Man I want to listen too.” 

“Oh? You don’t want to be left out, Bam?” Jungkook asked. I could hear the teasing tone in his voice. 

“Of course I don’t, ass!” Bambam cried out, causing me to chuckle. 

“Gyeom, do you have a headphone jack splitter so the whiny kid here can listen in?” Jungkook asked, causing me to turn my head towards his direction. 

“There… Should be one by the tv,” I told him. I layed back on my bed, closing my eyes and trying to imagine Jungkook looking around my room for the splitter. I tried to imagine what he would look like. Was he tall or short? Did he have dark hair or was it colored? I knew he had a bunny like smile, so I kept trying to imagine his bunny teeth. 

“Hello? Is this Kookie’s game crew?” a new voice asked into the headset, causing me to open my eyes. That was also a voice I didn’t recognize. It was a little higher pitched. 

“Yeah, who’s asking?” Mingyu asked. “Jungkook walked away for a second. I think he’s looking for something.”

“My name’s Jimin,” the boy said. That name actually sounded familiar. I think Jungkook talked about him before. “He invited me to play. I’m his friend from school. I haven’t really talked to him since he left for the States.”

“Jungkook, someone’s asking for you,” I said, sitting up again. “Someone named Jimin.”

“Oh, he accepted my game invite?” Jungkook asked, sounding almost surprised. I listened as he walked back towards me. “I’ll talk in a bit. Um, do you want Bam to hook up to my controller or yours?”

“He can hook up to mine,” I said. “But Bam, if you mess me up I swear to god I’ll kill you.”

“I’m your eyes, remember?” Bambam asked, causing me to kick out and strike a leg. 

“Hey!” Jungkook cried out. “Watch where you’re kicking!”

“I was trying to kick Bambam,” I said with a huff. “I can’t see you so how am I supposed to know who I’m kicking?”

“Then don’t kick,” Jungkook stated, causing me to scoff. 

“I can kick--”

“Hey Yugyeom,” I heard the gruff voice of Yongguk say from my bedroom door. I slowly turned my head towards the door in curiosity. “Um, Jinwoo’s father just stopped by and he gave me some things they wanted you to have.”

“Oh,” I said, my voice dropping. I knew everyone on the other side could hear what was going on, too. 

“There’s a urn with some of his ashes so you can have a part of him. They said that you deserve it, cause there was a plan for you to marry into the family anyway,” Yongguk told me. I silently nodded my head, not sure of what to say to that. “And, uh, they dropped off a puppy. They say he was Jinwoo’s. Apparently Jinwoo specifically said he was going to be both of your dog, and he was going to introduce you to him. There’s also a backpack full of different items. They said they didn’t want to seem insensitive about this, but they also put a photo frame of him in the bag.” 

“A puppy?!” me and Jungkook asked at the same time. Apparently Jinwoo didn’t tell Jungkook about this, considering how surprised he was.

“Yeah, um, he’s downstairs. I can bring him up if you want,” Yongguk said. “They said that Jinwoo never gave the dog a name cause he wanted to name it with you.”

“I’ll… Meet the puppy later,” I said, not sure if I was ready for that. “Thanks, hyung. Um… Please put the bag on my bed and the urn… You can put the urn on my bedside table.”

“Of course,” Yongguk said, his voice soft. I bit my lip, holding tightly onto the controller. 

“Are we ready to play?” I asked, turning my attention back to the game. I could feel Bambam pulling on the headphones connected to my controller, meaning he was at least ready.

“Yugyeom…” Jungkook started. I aggressively wiped away the single tear that started to roll down my cheek.

“Let’s play, god dammit! Otherwise I’m going to lose it,” I hissed. 

“Okay,” Jungkook said with a deep sigh, sitting down on the other side of me. “Jimin, you’re on?”

“Yeah,” the boy said, sounding confused. “Kookie, what’s going on?”

“We’ll talk about it later,” Jungkook replied. “Guys, meet Jimin, my best friend back home, and Bambam, Yugyeom’s best friend. Bambam is Gyeom’s eyes. So you’ll hear his commentary so Gyeom can play with us. Um Bam, Jimin, meet Mingyu, Jaehyun, The8 and DK. They’re our gaming crew. Jimin, we’re playing with—”

“Your best friend from Seoul,” Jimin concluded. I felt Jungkook shift from next to me, causing me to reach over and place his hand on Jungkook’s knee. 

“This blind kid wants to play some video games,” I said, bringing the attention back. “And then I have a shared dog with my dead boyfriend to meet. So let’s play so I don’t end up crying again.”

“So Jungkook is pressing start,” Bambam said, causing me to roll my eyes. “And the game is loading. Loading. Loading. Loading.”

“Bam,” I said with a sigh. 

“What? I have to be your eyes, right?” Bambam asked, causing me to kick his foot. “Ow! That hurt!”

“You guys are hilarious to listen to,” our friend DK’s voice came through the headphones. “Yuggy, I’ve never seen this side of you.”

“He’s an angry guy half the time,” Bambam spoke up, very close to me. I could sense that he was trying to speak into my mic, so I pushed him away.

“They can hear you just fine from where you’re sitting. These mics pick up everything,” I told him. 

“Fine,” he grumbled. “You’re in a room with six other character people. The room looks like it’s in a rundown building, and there’s a broken chandelier above you and--”

“What’s near me, Bam?” I asked with a sigh.

“I don’t know who you are,” Bambam said, causing me to groan. 

“He’s the character in the red and black bulletproof vest,” Jungkook spoke up for me. “The one with the black spiky hair.”

“Oh! I see you!” Bambam cried out, causing me to roll my eyes once again. “Okay so you’re standing next to a beat up table. It’s on your right. On your left there’s a door. But some people are in front of you.”

“So are we going through the door on the left?” I asked, just as I heard a rumbling from the game.

“No need,” Mingyu replied. “It sounds like the vamps are coming to us. Are you ready to fight, Gyeom?”

“Come at me, dirty vamps,” I said. I waited for instructions and even heard fighting coming from the game.

“Oh hey there’s a lot of monsters now!” Bambam cried out. “Like ten of them. Um, one is coming towards you, Gyeom. Kill it dead!”

“And where is he, Bam?” I asked, hoping I could get used to this. Bambam wasn’t really helping me. 

“Um, slash forward!” Bambam cried out. I sighed and mashed my buttons, hoping I was hitting my target. The encouragement coming from Jungkook next to me assured me that I was doing just fine. “Oh! You killed it! You did it Gyeommie!”

“Bam, you really need to learn to play video games,” I said as I turned my head towards him. “Take lessons from Jackson and Mark or something.”

“This is gonna be a fun night, isn’t it?” Jungkook’s high pitch voiced friend asked, laughing into his own mic. “You guys are great.”

“Oh yeah, it’s definitely going to be a night,” I replied, listening to Bambam’s next instructions. I definitely had a long night ahead of me.


	5. Chapter Four

****

I sat in my living room later that night with Himchan and Jungkook. The puppy was in my lap, trying to bite my arm. Everyone told me he was a chocolate lab puppy, about 6 months old. And it honestly made me happier than I have been in a while, having the puppy there. It really was like having a part of Jinwoo there.

“Did you decide on a name for him?” Jungkook asked me, causing me to turn my head in his direction. I thought for a few moments about his question until I came to a decision. 

“Jinwoo,” I said, smiling in content when I felt the dog lick my cheek. “His name is Jinwoo. So that he can live on in our child.”

“That’s really sweet,” Jungkook responded, his voice huskier than usual. I nodded my head, moving my hands down the puppy’s back. I felt Jungkook’s hand next to mine, also petting the puppy. However, we had to stop petting him when the doorbell suddenly rung. I removed my hands as the dog went bounding away, barking. 

“I wonder who that is,” Himchan said, as I heard his feet bounding after the puppy.

“Do you guys usually get this much company?” Jungkook asked, causing me to shake my head. “It’s probably cause of… What happened.”

“Yeah,” I said, listening for the door. I heard Himchan open the door and yelling at the dog to calm down. 

“Mom, Dad,” Himchan said, causing my ears to perk up. I didn’t realize they were coming.

“Son,” I heard my mom’s soft, warming voice say. I patted Jungkook’s leg to have him help me up. Jungkook seemed to understand as I felt him move, probably to stand up. He then grabbed onto both my hands, helping me get up as well. 

“My cane,” I said, with my hand out. I felt Jungkook put the pole in my hand while holding onto my other hand. The two of us walked towards the voices of my family, me using the pole in front of me to make sure I didn’t run into anything.

“Yugyeom,” I heard my mom say as she noticed me. Within seconds I was in her arms. “Oh my god, my poor child. Are you okay? I’m sorry we couldn’t come sooner.”

“I’m… Coping, Ma,” I said as she hugged me tightly. “It’s really hard, but I’m trying to get through it. Trying to learn how to get through a day without him. To learn how to get around without being able to see. It’s hard.”

“I can imagine, my baby,” my mom said, pulling back and kissing my forehead. “I’m just happy you’re still here.”

“I’m glad your brother’s taking really good care of you,” my father’s low, but gruff, voice said as I heard footsteps coming towards me. 

“Jungkook’s been the one taking care of him,” Himchan told him. “He hasn’t left his side.”

“Jungkook?” my mom asked. “Who--?”

“His and Jinwoo’s best friend,” my father told her as his large hand landed on my shoulder. “Yugyeom talked alot about him.”

“Oh, you’re the boy from Busan,” my mother replied. She was now directing her attention towards Jungkook. “Thank you so much for everything you do for my son. It means alot.”

“When did you guys get a dog?” my dad asked as soon as Jinwoo started barking again. Probably for attention.

“Apparently Jinwoo adopted him for me and him,” I said, reaching my hand out in hopes that the puppy would come to me. The  feel of his fur rubbing against my hand proved that he did. “Jinwoo’s parents dropped him off earlier today.”

“Yeah, I came home from work to a random dog barking at me,” Himchan said with a small chuckle. “But he’s Yugyeom’s.”

“Did you pick out a name for him?” my mom asked. I slowly nodded my head. “What is it?”

“I named him Jinwoo,” I said, biting my lip. “Because of… Jinwoo.”

“That’s so sweet,” my mother said. I turned away as I felt tears well up again. I’ve been doing okay, but times like this made me want to cry again. “So… You’ve been taking therapy for your eyesight?”

“Yeah,” I said, glad that she was changing the subject. 

“Let’s go sit down,” Jungkook suggested, taking a hold of my arm again. He helped me turn around and make my way back over to the living room. He then had me sit down on the couch, while taking a seat next to me. 

“Did you know you could train your dog to be a service dog?” my father asked, sitting down on the other side of me. “He’s young, but training them young is the most effective. It will help alot, being blind and all. If you want to train him, I can pay for your classes. Most training classes for a dog is about two months.”

“There’s one for dogs with blind owners?” Jungkook asked, his voice laced with curiosity. 

“There is,” my father replied. “I think it would be good for Yugyeom… And for Jinwoo here.”

“I won’t be able to take him to classes, though,” Himchan said. I could hear the frown in his voice. “Because I have work.”

“I’ll take them to classes,” Jungkook spoke up. 

I frowned, shaking my head to his response. I didn’t want him to be here longer than he had to just for me. He had his dream to think about. I wanted him to live that dream and debut. He’s been wanting this his whole life. If he was gone much longer, he might miss that chance.

“Jungkook,” I said, “you need to go back to your company. You’re in the middle of training. Besides, I could always call Bambam. Or even Minhyuk. I have my other friends too.”

“I want to be here for you,” Jungkook said. I felt a warm wave of emotion flash through me after he said that. It really meant alot and I didn’t know how I was supposed to express that. “I already told you. You mean more to me than debuting does. I’ll stay here with you as long as you need me to. Until you’re comfortable to be alone. If that ruins my chance to debut with this company, then I’ll survive.”

“You’re a true friend, Jungkook,” my father told him as I slowly nodded my head. I felt a little burdened cause I didn’t want to keep him from what he wanted to do. I sighed and stood up and grabbed onto my cane, trying to make my way away from the group. “Yugyeom.”

“I need some time alone,” I said, my voice dropping to almost a whisper. 

“Do you need help?” Jungkook asked. I just shook my head and made my way out of the room, using the cane to make sure I didn’t fall over anything. I could hear the pitter patter of Jinwoo’s paws on the ground as he followed me, his nose nudging my hand every now and then. It was a slow process as I walked away, making each step very cautiously. I tried to focus on any sounds the house made that would point me to the right direction. As I did so, I memorized each step I made. If later I had to do this on my own, I had to make sure I knew where I was going. I took a hundred small steps until my cane hit the foot of the stairs. I lifted out my free hand to grab onto the railing before I started going up the stairs, taking one step at a time. As I climbed, I counted 23 steps. I tried to keep that etched in my mind so I didn’t skip a step.

I finally made it to my room, taking slow steps towards the direction of my bed. I heard Jinwoo jump up onto the bed before I could get on the bed myself. With a deep sigh, I pulled myself up and laid down, letting my cane drop down beside me. Jinwoo nudged his nose against me, licking my cheek and causing me to let out a small chuckle. I ran my hand down his fur before feeling around my bed for the bag that was brought to me. I felt the material of the bag, recognizing it as my boyfriend’s favorite backpack. My eyes watered as I picked up the bag, holding it to myself for a while. After a few moments, I felt for the zipper and opened the bag. I then placed my hand inside, feeling a piece of cloth. I pulled it out and brought it to my nose, his scent lingering on the cloth. It was his baby blanket.

I placed the blanket on the bed before reaching into the bag again, finding the picture frame Yongguk told me about. I let my tears spill over in frustration because I couldn’t see the picture. I couldn’t see his smiling face. I couldn’t see those sparkling eyes again. The eyes that showed he had many years to live. The years that were rudely taken away from him. I set the bag and photo frame aside, turning onto my side and rolling into a ball. I pulled Jinwoo’s blanket into my arms, burying my face into it as I let myself cry once again. I let out heavy sobs, knowing my voice was probably going to carry. I couldn’t care less, however. It was so hard, living every day without him by my side. People always complained about how hard a break up was. They didn’t understand how much harder losing the love of your life was.

The puppy started licking my face, as if he were trying to cheer me up. I let out a sad chuckle, hugging him with one of my arms. I felt the shake of his body, knowing that he was wagging his tail. I closed my eyes, resting my face against the dog’s fur. I heard someone else walk into my room, but ignored them as I continued to let myself cry. I tried not to let memories of Jinwoo run through my mind, but they did. The day we went to dye our hair. The day we met. All of it. I saw picture after picture of him flash through my mind, and it just hurt worse. It made me cry more. 

I could hear someone moving the stuff of my bed, and then I felt it dip. I knew it was Jungkook just by the smell of his cologne. I let him wrap his arms around me, pulling himself to me in a hug. I’m glad that he let me walk up the stairs on my own, and I couldn’t complain that he came here to comfort me. As selfless as I wanted to be. As much as I wanted him to go back to his training. I knew I couldn’t have him leave my side. I couldn’t send him back. Because he was the only one who could actually calm me down. He was the only one I felt comfortable around. As much as I loved Bambam and my other friends, no one would ever compare to Jungkook.

“Thank you for being here for me,” I whispered after I calmed down. “It really means alot.”

“I will never leave your side, do you hear me?” Jungkook asked me, causing me to slowly nod my head. “No matter what, I’m gonna be here until I know you are okay. Even then I don’t know if I’ll leave. You mean so much to me, Yugyeom. If I lose my chance at becoming an idol, then so be it. All I want is to make sure you’re okay.”

I turned over so that I could return the hug Jungkook was giving me. He pulled me closer, letting me cradle my head in the crook of his neck. The puppy positioned himself so that he was also cuddled with us. I tried to smile, grateful that I had Jungkook… And the puppy there for me. I knew I was going to be okay, eventually. I just needed time. And I at least had the support I needed. They would make sure I’m okay. And that’s what mattered most.


	6. Chapter Five

“So you just ordered a book of instructions from a professional to train Jinwoo?” I asked as I sat in my backyard with the puppy rolling around the grass next to me. I held onto a tug-a-war toy, letting the puppy play with it. “I thought we could take him to a trainer.”

“Your father ordered the package,” Jungkook told me. “And there’s no current classes. But the professional said I just had to follow this guide to be able to teach Jinwoo. It came with a really cute harness that he has to keep on at all times.”

“What does it look like?” I asked with a small smile, tugging on the toy so that the puppy would grab onto it. 

“It’s a green vest that says “Guide Puppy in Training” on it,” Jungkook said, causing my smile to grow more. 

“And what are the steps to train him?” I asked as the puppy started tugging at the toy. I could feel him trying to shake the toy out of my hand. 

“It says that training a guide puppy will take time and patience. I hope you have that,” Jungkook said, causing me to roll my eyes and kick my foot out. I successfully kicked Jungkook. “Okay fine. Um the first thing we have to do is teach him how to walk in a straight line without sniffing. Step two, train him how to walk on the left side, straight ahead of the trainer. Step three, stopping at all curbs. Step four, waiting for a command before crossing roads. Step five, stopping at the top and bottom of stairs. Step six, avoiding obstacles at head height. Step seven, avoiding spaces too narrow for a person and a dog to walk through side by side. Step eight, boarding and travelling on all forms of public transportation. Step nine, taking the trainer to an elevator. Step ten, laying quietly for some time in a public place. And the final step, refusing commands that may lead the trainer into danger. So like if I told him to go walk us into a hole, he would have to refuse to move forward.”

“Does all this even work?” I asked, yanking the toy out of the dog’s mouth. “Will he even learn all this?”

“As I said, training takes time and patience. Dogs are smart,” Jungkook told me. “He already knows you’re his human. And he’s only been here for a couple days.”

“It’s cause I smell like him,” I said, biting my lip and closing my eyes. I had Minhyuk bring me over a handful of Jinwoo’s shirts and his cologne. I just wanted everything I could have that would remind me of Jinwoo. Minhyuk said he didn’t blame me, either.

“It’s not because you smell like him, Yugyeom,” Jungkook said with a sigh. “You’re the one that gives him attention. And you’ve been the one feeding him.”

I slowly nodded my head. Because Jinwoo the puppy is my responsibility now, I brought it upon myself to feed him myself. Jungkook showed me where his food was and I memorized my steps to get to his food and fill the bowl. I even put water in the bowl, which always resulted in me splashing water all over my shirt. Which I didn’t care about. As long as the dog was taken care of, that’s what mattered most to me. This was my final gift from my boyfriend and I was going to make sure little Jinwoo was happy.

“Want to go for your afternoon walk?” Jungkook asked me, causing me to let out a soft snort. “What?”

“Afternoon walk? Am I the dog now?” I asked, smiling softly at him. Jungkook shoved me to the ground, causing me to laugh.

“The doctor said you had to walk around the neighborhood every afternoon,” Jungkook said. “So like it’s a walk, isn’t it? And I’m walking you.”

“Why does that sound so inappropriate?” I asked, kicking him aside and trying to stand up. “Help me up.”

“How does that sound inappropriate?” Jungkook asked with a snort. I felt his hand on my wrist as he helped me stand. Jinwoo then started jumping on my leg, pawing at me.

“I know puppy,” I said, placing my hand on his head. “We’re going on a walk.”

“Let me put his little harness on,” Jungkook said. I nodded my head and waited as Jungkook put the harness on the puppy. “Do you want to walk him?” 

“Of course I want to walk him,” I said, to which Jungkook responded with placing the leash in my hand. 

“I’ll be right behind you,” Jungkook told me, also handing me my cane. “I’ll try to make sure Jinwoo doesn’t get in the way of your cane.”

“Thanks,” I said, letting Jungkook lead me out of the backyard. He led me to the gate, opening it up for me. I felt Jinwoo tug me forward, but I immediately yanked on his leash so I wouldn’t lose my balance. “Jinwoo. No.”

“Are you sure you want to walk him?” Jungkook asked. I responded by nodding my hand. Jungkook didn’t say anything after that, staying behind me with his hand on my back. After a few steps, he told me to take a left. I could feel my feet hit a sidewalk, causing me to sigh in content. I felt more comfortable on cement than I did on grass. “You’re getting better at this, Yugyeom.”

“It’s not easy,” I told him. “You try being blind for a day.”

“If I were blind for a day, then you wouldn’t have a guide,” Jungkook retorted, causing me to nod my head. He had a point. “We’re at a street. A car is coming from the right.”

I stopped at the street, tugging on Jinwoo’s leash to get him to stay. So instead he turned and jumped on my leg. I heard Jungkook laughing, but ignored him. The car drove past, and Jungkook gave the okay to walk across the street. He kept his hand on my back as we walked. Once we were across the street, he had me turn left. He was leading me through the neighborhood as if he knew it or something. But considering he’s lived here for almost two weeks it made sense that he knew his way around. Especially after leading me around the streets every day.

“Kim Yugyeom? Is that you?” I heard someone ask, causing me to freeze. I tried to remember if I recognized the voice. If I did, I haven’t heard it in a long time. “It’s me, Youngjae. Himchan’s friend.”

“Ah,” I said, finally recognizing who was speaking. I slowly turned towards his voice. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“You have such a cute dog,” he said. “‘Guide Puppy In Training.’ Oh…”

“It’s nice to, uh, hear you again, Youngjae,” I said, almost saying the word ‘see’. “How are you doing?”

“I’m pretty good. I’m visiting my folks for a couple weeks. Then I’m back to Busan,” he told me.

“You’re from Busan?” Jungkook asked in curiosity.

“I’m actually from here in Seoul,” Youngjae replied. “My fiance, Daehyun, is from Busan. I’m living with him.”

“Daehyun… Jung Daehyun?” Jungkook asked.

“You know him?” Youngjae and I both asked in shock. I knew Daehyun since my older brother was in highschool. Daehyun’s one of Himchan’s best friends.

“Yeah, he’s Jimin’s step brother,” Jungkook told me. “I’ve met him a few times.”

“You know Jimin?” Youngjae asked.

“Yeah, he’s my best friend back home,” Jungkook told him. “Hey, Jinwoo, don’t jump.”

I frowned, pulling at Jinwoo’s leash. He must have been jumping on Youngjae. Jinwoo let out a small yelp before proceeding to jump on my own leg. I kneeled down, setting down my cane and scratching behind Jinwoo’s ear. Jinwoo let out a small bark, causing me to smile.

“Jinwoo… Isn’t that your boyfriend’s name?” Youngjae asked me, causing me to sigh. I kept my head tilted towards the dog as I slowly nodded my head.

“It was, yeah,” I said, my voice laced with new tears.

“Was?” Youngjae asked in confusion. I choked back a sob, continuing to pet the dog.

“He… Passed away in a car accident two weeks ago,” Jungkook said for me. “And Yugyeom lost his eyesight. The dog was Jinwoo’s dog that he got for himself and Yugyeom. But he was waiting for Yugyeom to choose a name with him. Jinwoo’s parents gave the dog to him a few days ago. Yugyeom wanted to name him after Jinwoo. And now we’re training him to be a guide dog for Yugyeom.”

“Wow… I-- I didn’t know,” Youngjae said, his voice full of compassion. I sighed and stood up again. 

“It’s okay,” I tried to assure him. 

“It’s not okay,” Jungkook corrected me. “You’re not okay, Gyeom.”

“Jungkook--” I started, just as my phone went off. I sighed and reached for my pocket, pulling out my phone. The ringtone going off meant that Himchan was calling. “Kook, can you answer for me?”

“I gotcha,” Jungkook said, taking my phone out of his hands. “Hey.”

“Hey guys,” Himchan said through speaker phone. “So Yongguk got us a reservation at a restaurant tonight. You guys want to come?”

“Well this would be perfect practice for Jinwoo,” Jungkook said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Can we bring him?”

“As long as you have the service dog permit on hand,” Himchan replied. “The one the doctor gave you this morning.”

“I’ll have it with me,” I replied. 

“Then I don’t see an issue with you bringing him,” Himchan said. “Restaurants aren’t allowed to kick out service dogs. And you’re obviously blind. So they can’t separate you from your dog.”

“This is such a weird conversation,” I said with a deep sigh. “Just last month I could see and we wouldn’t be talking about how I’m blind with a guide puppy in training. What a life I swear.”

“Daehyun won’t believe me when I tell him you’re blind,” Youngjae said, causing me to nod my head.

“Wait… Youngjae?!” Himchan cried through the phone. “Is that you?!”

“Hey hyung!” Youngjae said. I looked down in the direction of Jinwoo. He was rubbing against my legs and I could feel him trying to wrap me up with his leash. “I just ran into Yugyeom and his friend, Jungkook. You want to know something weird?”

“Uh, sure?” Himchan said through the phone. “What’s up?”

“Daehyun’s little step brother? Yeah, Jimin is Jungkook here’s best friend,” Youngjae said into the phone. 

“Seriously?” Himchan asked. “God it really is a small world... Ah, well, Youngjae, let me know if you want to hang out. I’ll message the guys.”

“Daehyun would kill me if we all hang out without him,” Youngjae said with a laugh. “Wait till next week. He’s coming with Jimin and Taehyung. Jimin and Tae have been talking about how much they’ve been wanting to come to Seoul.”

“Jimin and Taehyung are coming here next week?!” Jungkook cried out in shock. “And they didn’t tell me?!”

“Looks like Jimin’s in trouble,” Youngjae said with a soft laugh. “I’m gonna hand the phone back to your brother. See you next week Himchan.”

“Yeah, see ya,” Himchan replied. “And see you tonight, Yugyeom.”

“See you tonight,”  I replied, handing the phone to Jungkook for him to hang it up for me. I still had to really figure out how to work it now. 

“I’ll see you around, Yugyeom,” Youngjae said. I heard him walk away, causing me to sigh and tug on Jinwoo’s leash. 

“Is he fully wrapped around me? I can feel his leash hugging my legs,” I asked Jungkook, causing him to chuckle.

“Pretty much,” Jungkook replied, grabbing the leash. I felt him unwrap the leash while talking to Jinwoo. “I’m gonna yell at Jimin.”

“You should make it seem like you don’t know and then yell at him when he comes next week,” I said, causing Jungkook to laugh in agreement.

“Good thinking,” Jungkook replied. “Now let’s get home.”


	7. Chapter Six

The day for Jungkook’s friends, Jimin and Taehyung, to arrive came. I sat with Jungkook in the living room. I was on the couch with the puppy laying across my legs and the TV playing. Jungkook had set the tv to audio description so I knew what was happening in the show. At first it was embarrassing to have audio description on, because I hated to admit that I was disabled. That I was blind. I didn’t want people to judge me for it. But I soon realized that I shouldn’t be embarrassed. This was a part of who I am and I had to embrace it. Get used to my new lifestyle. And lately I’ve actually been getting a hang of it. It felt… Almost relaxing not having to see every single thing there was to see.

I’ve been able to describe touches a lot better. Like the feel of Jinwoo’s fur felt like cotton. It was so soft and almost silky. It made me think of a cloud whenever I stroked his fir. I’ve touched Jungkook’s arm so much that I have fully imprinted in my head what his skin felt like. It felt different than Himchan’s or Yongguk’s or Bambam’s. His skin was a little rough, but warm. He had muscles on his arms that definitely poked through. He didn’t feel like a bodybuilder, but he definitely had the feel of a dancer. His skin reminded me of what a shark would feel like if they weren’t wet because of the ocean. I can’t tell you why, but Jungkook was like my own personal shark.

I was getting used to differentiating between sounds. Like the sound of the air conditioning when it picked up, the little whirring sound it made. Or the creaks of the house when someone walked. The pitter patter of Jinwoo’s paws when he ran around the house. The sound of the coffee maker when Yongguk made his morning pot. It was peaceful, just listening to sounds. It seemed like my sense of sound became ten times more clearer and I became dependent on it. I listened for emotional cues when someone was talking. I listened to whether or not Jungkook was bored or nervous or happy or mad. Jinwoo had different barks to tell me whether he was hungry or if he had to use the restroom or if he saw someone outside or if he just wanted to play. I felt like not being able to see made me understand my dog more.

And it’s only been four days of training, and so far Jinwoo was picking it all up pretty easily. He was good at sitting at street corners and walking when it was time. He payed attention to the pull of his leash whenever I had to stop. He stayed pretty alert when he was around me, so I wasn’t worried about getting into danger when I had him. And when we went to the restaurant the other night, he stayed quiet the whole time, laying under my seat. He did put his paws up on my lap a few times, but the restaurant owners and staff worked with us. They understood that the puppy was only training. I usually had quite a bit of treats to teach him what was right and wrong. 

The ring of the doorbell didn’t affect me as I continued to watch my show. I got so used to people coming now that I didn’t have to look up to see who it was. I knew it was Jungkook’s friends, along with Daehyun and Youngjae. Everyone’s been talking about them coming for the last couple of days. I listened as Himchan’s heavy footsteps went through the house so he could answer the door. I could also still hear the chitter chatter of Himchan’s and Yongguk’s other two friends, Junhong and Jongup, from the dining room. 

“Daehyun, Youngjae,” I heard Himchan great, excitement laced in his tone. “And you must be Jimin. Where’s your friend? Daehyun told me that you were bringing your friend… Taehyung was it?”

“He had something come up,” that high pitched voice I recognized from the video game day said. We haven’t played anything with the group since then. I was annoyed with Bambam since he really didn’t give great enough details to be my eyes. I ended up dying just ten minutes in.

“Come on in,” Himchan told him. “You can join my brother and his dog in the living room if you want. Um--”

“Is Jungkook here?” I heard Jimin ask. He seemed almost disinterested in coming to spend time with me. “I heard he was staying with you. I wanted to surprise him.”

“No,” Himchan replied, causing me to smirk and stroke Jinwoo behind his ear.

“How is Yugyeom anyway?” Daehyun asked, calming my nerves a little bit. At least he cared. “I heard what happened. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him. Is he doing okay? Is he… Coping?”

“He’s definitely still grieving, but he’s getting better,” Himchan said, his tone now laced with sadness. “I’ve never seen him this way before. But I got to admit, Jinwoo.. He was practically a brother to me too. I wa… It’s just weird not having him here anymore. And Yugyeom… He’s definitely got this blind thing down. I’d call him a pro now.”

“Yeah, a pro,” I scoffed from my spot on the couch, causing Himchan to chuckle. “Hi Daehyun hyung! Youngjae hyung! It’s been a while.”

“Back at you!” Daehyun cried out. I heard his footsteps come closer as he made his way towards the living room. “It’s really great seeing you again… Is that too rude to say?”

“Not at all,” I said with a laugh.

“I’m gonna… Hug you. Can I hug you?” Daehyun asked. I could tell he was right in front of me now.

“You don’t have to be so awkward,” I said, rolling my eyes and reaching my arms out. I felt Daehyun wrap his arms around me, giving me a quick hug. “Being blind doesn’t change anything.”

“Hey I don’t want to randomly touch you and have you freak out,” Daehyun said, pulling out of the hug. I can imagine his hands in the air as he tried to defend himself. Something he was known to do… Alot. “Hey Yugyeom, I want you to meet my brother, Jimin. He’s--”

“Hi,” Jimin said, still seeming distracted. I frowned and turned my head in the direction of his voice. 

“Hi,” I said, awkwardly. I didn’t know how I was supposed to interact with him.

“Jeon Jungkook?!” I heard Jimin’s voice ring through my ears. Jungkook must have popped up from his hiding spot. “Oh my god, so you ARE here?!”

“Yeah, jerk,” I heard Jungkook reply, the smile in his voice that I got so used to. “I knew this whole time you were coming.”

“What?! Seriously?! You weren’t supposed to know!” Jimin cried out. I sighed, knowing I wasn’t going to like this kid. I even heard Daehyun walking away to join Himchan and their friends. That just left me alone on the couch with my dog. 

“And why wasn’t I supposed to know?” Jungkook asked. 

I sighed and stood up. The two of them didn’t seem to make any notice to that as they argued about why Jimin didn’t tell Jungkook that he was coming. I sighed and grabbed my cane, making my way away from them. I heard Jinwoo running behind me, causing me to smile softly. At least I had a friend. I figured this would happen. Himchan and his friends were too distracted with each other. Jungkook’s too excited to see Jimin. Jimin didn’t even know me. So why should I matter to them?

I slowly traced my steps to the stairs, hitting the bottom stair with my cane. I then started my hike up the stairs, trying to not get knocked over by my dog. He was too energetic, trying his hardest to beat me up the stairs. This was definitely something we needed to work on with him. I didn’t want to fall down the stairs because he was too excited. 

Once I finished climbing the stairs, I continued onto my room. I closed the door behind me, sighing deeply and heading to my bed. Jinwoo jumped up on the bed before I could. I just sighed and pulled myself up as well. Jinwoo instantly laid himself on top of me as I searched for my IPod that was supposed to be on my bedside table. Which it wasn’t. This caused me to groan in frustration. I kept things I needed most next to me so that I could use them. I still wasn’t even sure how to navigate around my laptop yet without help. I’m sure I could set up an audio description on that too but I’ve never been too eager to figure it out.

So that just left me to lay on my bed with absolutely nothing to do. It honestly felt lonely. And times like this made me think of Jinwoo. Of how much I missed him. Of how much I wished I could have prevented that accident from happening. I wanted him here with me more than anything. But I knew things were getting better. I was slowly moving on. I know I had a lot of healing to do, but I also know I can’t dwell on him forever. As much as that hurt.

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of my phone. It was a ringtone I set specifically for Minhyuk. The timing was perfect. Almost as if he knew I was thinking of his brother. Almost as if he knew I needed a friend. I pulled the phone out of my pocket, tracing the left side of the phone until I was able to answer it. 

“Minhyuk?” I asked into the phone, placing it to my ear. “What’s up?”

“Hyung?” Minhyuk asked. I could tell that he was crying. “Can I… can I come over? I really need someone right now.”

“Yeah of course,” I said, secretly happy that he was coming. But I was also worried. “Do you need Himchan hyung to come pick you up?”

“No, it’s okay,” Minhyuk assured me. “I’m with Bin right now. He was bringing me home but I… I told him I didn’t want to be alone at the moment.”

I slowly nodded my head. I vaguely remembered Moonbin, Minhyuk’s best friend. Jinwoo introduced me to him a couple times. But he never hung out with us when Jinwoo, Minhyuk and I were together. The only reason Minhyuk would want to go somewhere else while he was with Moonbin was if Moonbin had to go somewhere. But I would welcome Minhyuk any time.

“Okay,” I said. “Just come in. The door should be unlocked. I’m in my room.”

“Okay, I’ll be there soon,” Minhyuk said. I opened my mouth to say something, but I heard the dial tone of the phone call ending. I sighed and ran my finger along the lock button of my phone, successfully locking it. I then reached over and pulled my puppy into a hug, laying my head on his back. 

I listened to his breathing, feeling content that my dog was healthy. I didn’t want anything to happen to him, because he was one of the last pieces I had left of Jinwoo. He was my child. And I wanted to make sure he stayed happy and healthy. There’s no way in hell I was gonna let anything happen to this precious soul. Even if I couldn’t see him, see what he looked like, that didn’t matter to me. He could be an ugly puppy for all I cared. But he was mine.

After about five minutes, I heard my door open. I lifted my head as I heard Minhyuk’s light footsteps making his way towards my bed. He didn’t say any words as he crawled into my bed next to me. I pulled him into a hug, letting him rest his head in my chest. I didn’t have to ask any questions as I felt my shirt starting to get wet and his body starting to shake. I knew he was hurting. He’s been silent since the funeral. He’s barely cried. And I knew he was going to break down. I assured him that when he did I would be here for him. There’s no words to explain just how much he missed his older brother. Just how much he needed him. And we both have discussed how now I was the closest thing he’ll ever have to a brother from here on out. And I assured him that no matter what, I wasn’t going to go anywhere. I couldn’t leave Minhyuk alone. Not ever.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I've had a lot going on. But here's the next chapter :)

Jimin seemed to be over every day, and Jungkook was always distracted with him. They talked and played games together, while I just sat back and listened to audiobooks or played with Jinwoo. I don’t know how I did it, but I ended up training Jinwoo on my own. Minhyuk helped when he could. We got Jinwoo to learn the name of each direction, so when I told him ‘Right’ or ‘Left’ he would start walking in that direction. He was very smart and knew that he was a guide dog. He still acting as a puppy, as any six month old puppy should. But he also knew when to behave and help me out.

Things were starting to get easier. It’s been over a month since Jinwoo passed, and it was now mid July. From what I heard, Jimin moved to Seoul so that he could audition for different companies. But he kept getting turned down for his age. I always heard Jungkook teasing him about how he should have auditioned long before. Jimin would say hi to me and he was kinda friendly, but I didn’t like him. I didn’t feel comfortable around him. I was upset that Jungkook barely paid attention to me when Jimin was around. And Jungkook was always out with him. I felt almost lonely. And I was feeling more sad that I couldn’t hang out with Jungkook now, on top of the whole moving on thing. And it was still very hard to move on from Park Jinwoo. I loved him and that will never change.

I thought I could depend on Jungkook, and I really wanted to. But I realized I can’t have him here every second of the day. I had to learn how to do all this on my own. I couldn’t turn other people’s lives upside down just because mine was. He had to have the freedom to hang out with his friends. I’m not his only friend, and I had to come to terms with that. I had to do things on my own.

I sighed and got out of bed, picking up my guide cane that I left standing against the wall next to my bedside table. I then started to make my way out of my room, carefully making each step as I went. I could hear Jinwoo following me, which made me smile. He was attached to the hip with me, and it definitely made me happy. At least I had someone to stay by my side. It didn’t matter to me if it was just a dog. Cause to me this puppy was more to me than just a dog. I understood now why people said a man’s best friend was their dog.

I made my way down the stairs, listening to Jimin’s and Jungkook’s laughter from the living room. I just rolled my eyes, feeling a pang in my heart as I listened to them. Without another thought, I turned towards the front door to go outside. I ran my hand along the wall until I found the hook up for Jinwoo’s harness. My brother ended up getting a double sided leash that hooks up to both sides of the harness. This way Jinwoo was right up next to me as we walked, and he didn’t risk tripping me while we walked. It was recommended for a guide dog.

I picked up the leash before sitting myself on the ground. Jinwoo stopped in front of me, allowing me to hook up both ends of the leash. That part became easy for me. It helped that Jinwoo didn’t struggle or get over excited. Minhyuk worked on keeping him still for ten hours one day. Jinwoo finally got the hang of it and knew he would get a treat if he was calm. Once the leash was on, I smiled softly and pushed myself up. I then ran my hand along the doorside table, finding Jinwoo’s jar of treats. I opened up the jar and grabbed a treat, before closing it up again and giving Jinwoo the treat. Jinwoo instantly grabbed it out of my hand, his tongue licking every inch of my hand. I chuckled and dropped said hand, wiping it on my pants.

“Are you ready to go out?” I asked the puppy, grabbing onto the middle part of the leash. This part was cushioned for my hand, which was nice. Otherwise, if he yanked too hard then I would probably get rope burn trying to hold on. 

“Where are you off to?” I heard Jungkook ask from the living room.

“To see Minhyuk,” I responded, reaching out to open the door.

“Do you need me to go with you?” Jungkook asked. He was closer to me now. I slowly shook my head, grabbing onto the doorknob and turning it to open the door. “Are you sure?”

“Just have fun with your friend. Don’t worry about me,” I told him. I could hear the bitterness in my tone as I started to leave the house.

“Yugyeom--” Jungkook started, but I just shook my head. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’ll see you later,” I said, walking away from the house. I knew he would close the door anyway, so I didn’t care to close it. 

“Are you going to be okay on your own?” Jungkook called after me, but I just ignored him.

“Jinwoo, bus stop,” I told the puppy, but he didn’t seem to understand. I sighed and pulled my phone out of my pocket, clicking and holding onto the home button until I heard the beep Siri makes while waiting for instructions. “Hey siri, pull up Google Maps.”

“Pulling up Google Maps,” Siri responded. I waited for my phone to give me the indication that Google Maps was up. The lady voice for auto description explained the page for me, causing me to slowly move my finger to where I believed the speak button was. This is something Jungkook worked with me on so that I could easily get around my phone without any help. Once the speech button asked me for an address, I said for it to bring me to the nearest bus stop. 

“Turn left in 10 feet,” Google Maps told me.

“Jinwoo, straight,” I told the puppy, causing the dog to drag me forward. I smiled and followed him slowly. When the phone told me to go left, I told Jinwoo to go left. Jinwoo followed each instruction I gave him until we made it to a bus stop. I then found the bus bench, sitting down and pulling Jinwoo close to me. 

“You have a beautiful dog,” I heard an elderly woman from next to me say, causing me to smile.

“Thank you,” I said, nodding my head at her.

“He’s just a puppy in training?” the woman asked me, causing me to nod my head. “That’s adorable. Is he good?”

“He’s good enough for me,” I said, scratching Jinwoo behind his ears. “I’m in training too. I’m new to all this.”

“When did you lose your eyesight?” she asked me, causing me to give her a sad smile.

“A month ago,” I told her. “In a car accident.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” she told me. I just nodded my head and continued to play with Jinwoo’s ears. Soon enough I heard the bus pull up in front of me. 

“Come on, Jinwoo,” I said, standing up. I let Jinwoo lead me to the front of the bus, but waited for the lady to get on first. “Go ahead.”

“Thank you,” the woman said. I waited patiently until Jinwoo started dragging me again. 

“Is this the bus to Gangnam station?” I asked the bus driver as I reached out for the railing. 

“Yes, it is,” the driver told me, causing me to smile and walk up the steps. “Is that where you’re getting off?”

“Yes sir,” I replied, reaching into my pocket as soon as I was inside the bus. I pulled out my wallet and showed it to the man. “My bus pass should be in the top clear thingy.”

“I see it,” the bus driver told me. “You’re all set.”

“Thank you,” I replied, nodding at him. I then turned to find a seat. “Come on Jinwoo.”

“There’s an open seat to your right,” the driver told me.

“Thank you,” I said again, reaching out to feel for the seat. I was a little frustrated that I left my cane at home. I must have left it in the doorway when I was putting Jinwoo’s leash on.

Once I found the seat, I let myself sit down. I instructed for Jinwoo to scooch under the seat slightly, which he did. As much as he could, that is. The bus driver didn’t start driving until I was seated. And once I was situated, I pulled out my phone. I asked Siri to call Minhyuk before placing my phone to my ear. I waited until he answered.

“Hyung?” he asked into the phone.

“Hey,” I said. “I’m on the bus. Will you meet me at the Gangnam station?”

“Is it just you?” Minhyuk asked me. “Or did Jungkook come along too?”

“He’s with Jimin,” I said, that bitterness in my tone again. “It’s just me.”

“Has Jungkook helped you at all since Jimin arrived?” Minhyuk asked me, causing me to frown.

“When he’s not with Jimin, yeah,” I said with a deep sigh. “Minhyuk, let’s not talk about this.”

“Okay,” Minhyuk agreed. “When do you think your bus will arrive?”

“In about thirty minutes,” I replied, biting my lip. Jinwoo suddenly started barking when the bus stopped and someone else got on, causing me to jump in my seat. “Yah! Jinwoo! Stop!”

Another dog started barking too, causing me to sigh. I pulled on Jinwoo’s leash and placed the phone between my shoulder and ear. I then reached down and tapped Jinwoo on the nose. Since I couldn’t see what was going on, it worried me more. My phone tumbled out of my hold as I pulled Jinwoo to myself. He stood up, trying to get out of my hold.

“Hey! Stop!” I said again, holding tightly onto him. I moved my head in the direction of the other person who had a dog. “I’m so sorry. He’s new at this. He hasn’t really encountered any other dogs.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t get on a bus with an insane dog when he’s not properly trained,” a man hissed, causing me to flinch. 

“His dog is currently being trained,” the woman from the bench defended. “Have a little bit more respect.”

“It’s fine,” I said with a deep sigh. “Bus driver, if it’s too much for you, I can get off.”

“You don’t have to get off the bus,” the driver told me. “Besides, he stopped barking and he’s staying by your side. As long as you keep a hold on him, it’s okay.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said with a deep sigh. I felt even more helpless as I held Jinwoo tightly to myself. “Um… Does anyone see where my phone dropped?”

“It’s right here,” someone else said, placing my phone into my hand. I smiled gratefully and nodding my head at them.

“Thank you,” I said, placing the phone to my ear again. “Minhyuk? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I am,” Minhyuk replied. “Are you okay? I’ll kill that guy for speaking to you that way!”

“It’s okay, Minhyuk,” I said with a soft chuckle. “I’m okay. Jinwoo just got a little excited at seeing another dog.”

“Typical puppy,” Minhyuk replied. “Well I’ll let you go so that you can focus on him. I’ll meet you at the Gangnam station. Myungjun and Moonbin are with me, by the way.”

“I’ve been meeting to meet up with Myungjun… After-- The accident anyway,” I said, unable to bring up Park Jinwoo’s death. “I’ll see you soon.”

I double clicked the lock button to end the call. I then placed the phone back in my back pocket, ignoring the eyes that I could feel staring at me. If they even were, that is. I just felt extremely uncomfortable, and I was hoping that this bus ride would be over soon. I didn’t want to be the center of attention. I didn’t want people to judge me and my dog. But of course being the blind kid, I would be the one who was judged. My puppy being new to this, of course he was going to be judged as well. There was no escaping this. And I was stuck with this for the rest of my life. And more than anything, I prayed there was a way to fix my vision. Because I couldn’t handle this. Not for long. 


	9. Chapter Eight

“Yugyeom!” I heard the familiar voice of Jinwoo’s best friend say as I made my way off the bus. I was instantly pulled into a hug, almost causing me to freak out. I had no idea who was hugging me. It wasn’t Minhyuk. I knew Minhyuk’s embrace. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

“Myungjun,” I said once I realized it was him hugging me. “Please do not hug me before saying something.”

“Yeah, Yugyeom hyung is very jumpy now,” Minhyuk said. “Careful, cause he might beat you with his blind stick guider thingy.”

“You can just call it a cane,” I said as Myungjun let me go. “And I don’t have it with me, so I’m not really gonna beat him up with it.”

“How are you doing?” Myungjun asked me as he grabbed onto my arm. “I’m sorry I haven’t called you since… He died… I..”

“We all have been hurting,” I said with a sad smile. “I don’t blame you, hyung. I would have called you myself… But I’ve been trying to cope with my new lifestyle and all. And… Training a dog when you can’t see is not easy.”

“So this is the puppy he adopted?” Myungjun asked, stopping and letting go of me. He was probably kneeling in front of Jinwoo now. “Jinjin told me all about him. About how he was going to introduce him to you after he proposed. About how he wanted to choose a name with you…”

I turned away from him with a deep sigh. I was getting better with discussing Jinwoo, but it still hurt. Myungjun seemed to have taken the hint and stopped talking. Everything was silent between all of us. I listened to the sounds of cars driving by and people talking. This was probably the busiest area I’ve been in since losing my eyesight, so all the sounds were getting a little overwhelming.

“Is there a car somewhere we can get into?” I asked, holding tightly onto Jinwoo’s leash. ‘It’s getting a little noisy out here.”

“Actually we walked here,” Minhyuk said, quietly. I sighed and nodded my head. Just as I did so, my phone went off. It was Jungkook’s ringtone. I ignored it and pulled my dog closer to myself. “Isn’t that Jungkook calling? You’re not going to answer?”

“Someone lead the way for me,” I said, ignoring his question. I heard the sigh that escaped Minhyuk’s lips as he placed his hand on my back. We all started walking, slowly mind you, as I had no idea where I was going. 

“Hyung, please talk to me about this,” Minhyuk begged. “Please don’t shut me out. There’s something going on here. I’ve never seen you act like this towards Jungkook. You guys are inseparable. Please tell me what’s going on. I don’t like seeing you like this, hyung. You’ve been through enough.”

“I don’t know,” I said, closing my eyes tight and thinking it over. “I just… I’m upset that he doesn’t spend much time with me anymore. And his friend never talks to me. I know I can’t have his life revolve around mine… But I’m sad that he’s not talking to me. And I just really don’t like his friend. I mean he seems like a nice guy, but I just don’t like him.”

“It sounds like you’re jealous,” a voice I didn’t recognize said. My eyes shot open and I turned my head in the direction of his voice. “I think you’re jealous of Jungkook.”

“No, no I’m not,” I said, shaking my head. I refused to agree to his statement. “I can’t be jealous. I.. Jinwoo--”

“My brother isn’t going to want you to stay stuck on him for the rest of your life,” Minhyuk cut in. “He’s going to want you to be happy. If you’re jealous of Jungkook. If you so much as like him, then that’s fine. You need to move on, hyung. You will ALWAYS love Jinwoo. You will ALWAYS miss him. We all know that. It’s okay to like someone else. I would never hate you, and I’m his brother. Myungjun hyung, his best friend, would never hate you either. You’re hurting. And Jungkook is the only one who can truly help you. Heal you.”

“I… I never said I liked Jungkook,” I said, my voice lowering. I stopped to think about what I just said. I sounded unsure even to myself.

“You don’t have to say it, hyung,” Minhyuk said, softly. “I know you. I know him. I know how the two of you are together.”

“But… that would just betray Jinwoo..” I said, shaking my head. “I could never do that to him.”

“You wouldn’t be betraying him,” Minhyuk told me. “As his brother, I think I can say this. I knew him best, right? You and Jungkook were always the closest to his heart. He would want his two most special people in his life to be happy. If the two of you are what makes each other happy, then he would embrace that with open arms. He loves you. He loves Jungkook. He would never want any of you to be lonely and hurting. And Jungkook, he’s the only one who truly knows your pain. He’s the only one who could truly embrace your scars. Jinwoo will always be top in your heart, and I think Jungkook would be the only one who would be able to accept that.”

“I… I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship yet,” I said, frowning now. “It’s too soon.”

“Maybe for a relationship, but not for a chance,” Minhyuk told me. I slowly nodded his head, trying to process everything he just told me. Did I like Jungkook? Did I want things to work out between me and Jungkook? Did Jungkook even like me? I sighed, knowing I had a lot to think about.

When I got home, Jungkook and Jimin were nowhere to be found. I let the puppy drag me into the house, but I didn’t want to let him go until I knew I had my cane. I felt around the walls close to the front door, but it wasn’t there. The house sounded completely empty, so I had no one to call out to to help. I was starting to feel scared. I don’t think I’ve ever actually been left alone. I let Jinwoo pull me into the livingroom as I started to panic. My heart started to pound fast as my hand ran along the back of the couch. I felt around until I was able to sit on the couch. I then let go of Jinwoo and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I tried to turn Siri on, but nothing happened. Meaning my phone was dead. This caused me to panic more.

“Anyone home?!” I cried out, but no one answered. Tears appeared in my eyes as I brought my knees up to my chin. I was alone. And I hated it. 

I let myself have a panic attack right there on the couch. There was physically nothing else I could do. I was too scared to leave the couch. To have Jinwoo lead me up the stairs to grab my phone charger. And I felt utterly useless. I hated that I was blind. I hated that I had to lean on other people. I hated that I no longer could live my own life.

“Yugyeom?” a voice asked as the front door opened. It was Yongguk. “Hey! Are you okay?”

“H-hyung?” I asked, my voice sounding broken. I was physically shaking in fright. 

“Hey hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice filled with worry. I heard his hurried footsteps, and then shortly after I felt a dip in the couch as he sat down next to me, pulling me into a hug. “Hey, It’s okay. I’m here. Calm down.”

“I… I don’t ever want to be home alone again,” I whimpered, hugging him back. I felt silly, freaking out like this. “I… I don’t know where my cane is. And my phone is dead. And… What if someone broke in? I can’t see them. I… I don’t want to be left alone.”

“We’ll make sure you’re never alone,” he assured me, moving his hands up and down along my back. “Do you… know where the others are?”

“I got home to an empty house,” I whispered. “I don’t know where Jungkook went. And hyung is at work I think. I don’t know.”

“Jungkook didn’t tell you he was going out?” Yongguk asked, causing me to shake my head. Well, his phone call earlier could have been him telling me he was going out. But if I didn’t answer and I was with Minhyuk… If it were important… he would have called Minhyuk. “Do you want to go up to your room?”

“Please,” I whispered. Yongguk helped me stand up before he slowly led me up the stairs. I could hear Jinwoo’s scurrying feet as he followed behind us. “My cane… I don’t know where it is.”

“I’ll find it for you,” Yongguk assured me, causing me to sadly nod my head. Once we got to my room, Yongguk helped me onto the bed. Jinwoo jumped up next to me. “I see you didn’t take his leash off.”

“I needed it on,” I replied. I listened as Yongguk moved around, probably taking the leash off the dog. He then helped me lay down, pulling the blankets over me. 

“Where’s your phone? I can put it on the charger,” he asked me as my dog cuddled up next to me. I took the phone out of my back pocket, handing it over to him. “Um… Your phone isn’t dead, Yugyeom. It’s… Your phone is broken.”

“What?” I asked, bolting right back into a sitting position. “It’s broken? But I was talking to Minhyuk on it.”

“It probably works fine with calls. But the LCD screen is fully cracked,” Yongguk told me. “Yuggy… We need to get you a new phone.”

“But I… I can’t do anything without it,” I whispered, tears appearing in my eyes again. I was on the verge of another panic attack.

“Hey hey, calm down,” Yongguk said, helping me lay down again. “Just take a few deep breaths. Get some rest. I’m gonna talk to your brother and make something to eat. Just.. Get some sleep. We’ll figure out what to do about your phone, okay? It’s going to be okay.”

“Okay…” I said, trying to calm down my breathing. 

After a few moments, Yongguk left the room. I felt around for my late boyfriend’s baby blanket. Once I had it in my hands, I pulled it to myself. I tried my hardest not to cry more, but it was getting harder and harder. I was scared and just done with everything. I really hated being blind. A part of myself was completely erased during that car accident. I will never be the same again.

With that thought in mind, I closed my eyes, letting sleep attempt to take me over. For some reason, Jungkook being gone made me a little angry. But more sad than angry. I was kinda looking forward to getting home and seeing him. But apparently he didn’t have the same agenda. It seemed that he would rather be out with his friend. And I knew I couldn’t force him to be by my side all the time, but it still saddened me.

This made me believe that Jungkook didn’t really like me the way Minhyuk thought he did. I didn’t even know if I liked Jungkook that way. I just knew I was upset. I knew that it hurt since he wasn’t here by my side. He wasn’t helping me in my time of need. And as much as I didn’t want to be selfish, I felt like I deserved to be selfish. I needed Jungkook. 

With that thought in mind, I let myself drift off to sleep. I was starting to accept what Minhyuk and Myungjun tried to tell me, and I didn’t like it. But for some reason, I wanted it to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy guys. Sorry for the late update! Life got hectic. I went to see BTS AND ASTRO in concert and then I got home and my work schedule changed and everything got all weird. But thanks for sticking with me. I hope you enjoyed this chapter <3 Only a few more left unfortunately.


	10. Chapter Nine

I woke up to someone’s arms wrapped around me, their body pressed close to mine. I didn’t need to think twice, as I instantly knew it was Jeon Jungkook. I was trapped in his embrace, so I couldn’t move. But I felt so warm and secure in his hold. I’ve only ever felt this way in Jinwoo’s arms. My heart started beating faster at that thought. I didn’t want to think that way.

I slowly brought my knees up to my chest so I was in fetal position. As I did so, I could feel Jungkook shift next to me. I froze, not wanting to wake him up. But it seemed like it was too late, since he was already moving. Instead of pulling away, however,  he moved closer, tightening his hold around me. My heart was fluttering at his touch, and I seriously wanted to cry. No, I actually started to cry. I hated that I was having this feeling.

“Hey…” Jungkook whispered, his voice laced with worry. “What’s wrong?”

“I hate you,” I whispered back, burying my face in my arms. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been spending alot of time with you,” Jungkook told me. “I’m sorry I was gone when you got home. I didn’t know you would be alone… I didn’t know it would cause a panic attack. I should have warned you that I wouldn’t be home. I’m so sorry.”

I stayed silent, refusing to answer him. That wasn’t the reason I was crying, but I couldn’t tell him that. There was no way in hell I could tell him that the reason I was crying was that there was a possibility that I had feelings for him. I didn’t want to have feelings for him. I still loved Jinwoo. I still missed Jinwoo. 

“Please forgive me, Gyeommie,” Jungkook told me. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not mad at you, dummy,” I mumbled, closing my eyes. 

“Why are you crying?” he asked, his voice soft. I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t even know where to start.

“Does… Jimin hate me?” I suddenly asked, causing Jungkook to freeze. “It seems like he hates me. He never talks to me. He only spends time with you. And you… You’ve been spending a lot of time with him… And it’s making it hard to like him…”

“Yugyeom… Are you jealous?” Jungkook asked, causing me to sigh and open my eyes again. I didn’t know how to answer that question. Everyone said I was, but I didn’t want to admit it. 

“You’re not the first one to suggest that,” I whispered. “I… I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been spending more time with him,” Jungkook told me. “I can assure you he doesn’t hate you. He’s a shy person, and because he’s never really met you, and you never talk to him, he doesn’t know how to open up. He’s scared that you don’t like him… Which you kinda just admitted. I think the two of you should sit down and get to know each other. And I must also tell you, nothing is ever going to happen between me and Jimin. I mean we did have a fling in highschool. But no. I’ve been spending a lot of time with him because he’s about to propose to his boyfriend, Taehyung… and I know how hard of a topic that is for you, so I didn’t want to bring it up. But he doesn’t hate you. And I know I should be spending more time with you. I want to spend more time with you.”

“I… Can I be selfish and have you more to myself?” I asked, feeling my cheeks heat up. “I want you to live your life and not be focused on me… But when you’re not around, I feel so lonely. I shouldn’t be so clingy… But I can’t help it.”

“I’ll allow you to be selfish,” Jungkook told me, causing me to smile softly. I then turned in my bed and wrapped my arms around him. He pulled me closer and hugged me back. His embrace felt warm and comforting. “I’ll always allow you to be selfish with me, Yugyeom. I’m here for you. Full heartedly. I’ll drop everything for you.”

“I feel bad, but at the same time, thankful,” I said, burying my face in his chest. 

“Don’t feel bad,” Jungkook told me, bringing his hand up to play with my hair. “I want to do this.”

We were silent after that. For the first time ever, I fully breathed in his scent. And I focused on it. He smelt like strawberries, and it made my heart skip. I didn’t want to, especially cause it’s only been a month, but I could feel myself slowly falling for him. I felt so comfortable laying in bed with him like this. I wanted to beat myself up about it, but I couldn’t. I think part of it was because of the speech Minhyuk and Myungjun gave me. They were right. I couldn’t focus on my losses. I had to live life.

“Hey,” Jungkook said, bringing me back to reality. “We have some guests over. Daehyun and Youngjae are here with Jimin. And Yongguk made dinner. Did you want to come down? They said they would wait until you’re awake.”

“Let’s go down then,” I replied, nodding my head. “But… I need my cane.”

“Yongguk hyung left it by your nightstand,” Jungkook told me. “But let me help you.”

I sat up in bed as Jungkook jumped up and ran to the other side. He grabbed onto my head, helping me out of bed. He then placed my cane into my hand, causing me to smile at him in gratitude. Once I was fully standing, he walked behind me with his hand on my back. He lead me out of the room, taking slow steps so he wouldn’t rush me.

He helped me down the stairs and into the dining room. I could hear laughter, causing me to smile slightly. My brother’s friends’ voices were loud and clear. I would know their voices anywhere. There was a voice mixed in the mix I didn’t recognize. He seemed over excited as he told a story about who I assumed was his dog.

“Speaking of dogs,” Jungkook cut in, “have you guys seen Jinwoo?”

“Jungkookie!” the unknown voice cried out. I felt Jungkook being tugged away from me, probably getting hugged by the boy. “Oh my god! I haven’t seen you in ages! How are you?! You’re living well, right?! I heard you’ve been taking care of my Jiminnie for the last couple weeks. You’re a saint, you know that Kookie? I’m so happy to see you again!”

“You too, Tae,” Jungkook said with a laugh. “Taehyung, I want you to meet Yugyeom. He’s--”

“I heard all about you! From Jiminnie and from Jungkookie!” the boy said, suddenly hugging me as well. I stood frozen, still not comfortable with random people hugging me when I couldn’t see them. “You poor thing. I’ve been wanting to hug you for so long. You’ve been through so much.”

“Ah… It’s nice to meet you, Taehyung,” I said, my voice a little shaky. He seemed to have understood and pulled away from me. 

“I’m sorry, I love to hug people,” Taehyung told me, causing me to shake my head and give him a small smile.

“So?” Jungkook cut in. “Have you guys seen the dog?”

“He wasn’t in the room with you?” I heard Himchan asked. It sounded like he was walking towards the table, probably with something in his hands. 

“Wait,” I said with a frown. “Are you trying to tell me that my dog is missing?”

“No,” Jungkook said, immediately, but I didn’t believe him. I dropped my cane and turned away from everyone. I started to run, even though I had no idea where I was going. 

“Jinwoo!” I cried out, blindly running through the house. “Come here, boy!”

I could hear his paws running across the floor, causing me to skid to a stop. I suddenly lost my balance and I was falling backwards. Down a set of stairs. And I couldn’t catch myself. I felt my leg bend underneath me, causing me to cry out in pain. I hit the bottom of the stairwell, just as Jinwoo came running down to lick my face.

“Yugyeom!” Jungkook cried after me, running down the stairs. He bent down and tried to help me up. “Are you okay?!”

I didn’t answer him as he tried to help me stand. But my leg was in so much pain that I couldn’t put any weight on it. It felt like something was broken. I winced, telling Jungkook to let me sit. He helped me sit down against the wall, before I bent over to grab onto my leg. 

“I… I hurt it,” I hissed through the pain. I could hear my brother’s heavy footsteps as he ran down the stairs to check on me. 

“Are you stupid?!” Himchan cried out. “Why the hell did you run like that?! When you can’t see where you’re going?! You need to be more careful!”

“Hyung, calm down,” Jungkook told my brother, his hands on my shoulders. “Hey, how bad is the pain?”

“I think I broke it,” I whispered, my eyes clenched shut. 

“Yongguk called the ambulance,” Himchan told us. 

“Okay, good,” Jungkook replied. “Can you or someone get him some ice? And an ace bandage?”

“I’m on it,” Himchan said. I could hear his feet retreating, leaving me and Jungkook alone. 

“Hey,” Jungkook said, his voice soft and calm. “I’m going to take off your sock and shoe. It might hurt a little.”

“That’s okay,” I said with clenched teeth. I felt him take my shoe off, causing me to wince even though his touch was gentle. Once the shoe was off, he pulled down my sock. I bit my lip, trying not to cry out in pain. Once my foot was free of my sock and shoe, Jungkook pulled my pant leg up. He then grabbed onto my leg, softly rubbing his hand down it. 

“Your ankle is very swollen,” he told me. “It’s bent weirdly too. I think you may have broken it.”

“It hurts,” I whispered. 

“I know,” he said, letting go of my leg. “Just hang in there. It will be okay.”

“I hate this. I hate being blind,” I said, tears falling down my cheeks. Jungkook sighed and pulled me into a hug, letting me cry into his chest. “I wish that accident never happened. I hate it so much.”

“I know,” Jungkook said, just as I felt his lips touch my forehead. My heart fluttered more, and that small kiss seemed to have calmed me down just a little. 

“Hey,” Himchan said, causing me to turn my head in the direction of his voice. I didn’t even hear him come back. “I have the stuff.”

“Alright,” Jungkook said, pulling away from me. “Yugyeom, I’m going to wrap your foot up in this ace bandage. Then I want you to hold an ice pack to it until the ambulance gets here. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said, my voice laced with pain. He placed his hand to my ankle, causing me to cry out. Himchan grabbed a hold onto my hands, trying to calm me down. Pain shot through my whole leg as Jungkook wrapped the bandage. I knew he wasn’t trying to hurt me, but I wanted to cry. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Himchan tried to tell me, but it only fell on deaf ears. I almost cried out more, but stopped when I felt something soft hit my lips. My whole body froze and I even stopped crying. I knew that feeling. Someone was kissing me. Or rather, it was just a small peck. But I was still shocked. 

“It’s okay,” Jungkook’s voice whispered into my ear shortly after. I realized it was Jungkook who had kissed me. “It’s going to be okay.”

 


	11. Chapter Ten

Things were awkward between me and Jungkook for the next few weeks. Most of the time I was in the hospital because of my broken ankle. The doctors did confirm it was broken. I was currently in the hospital again to have surgery on my ankle. I had to stay overnight to make sure everything was good for my surgery in the morning. They allowed Jinwoo to stay in the hospital with me for emotional support. After falling down the stairs, my doctors decided to help me sign up the dog as an official service dog, and not just training. We realized that I couldn’t be without him after I freaked out.

Jungkook and I never discussed the kiss, which made me ten times more confused. I was starting to come to terms that I may actually like him. However, I felt like I wasn’t ready to get involved with anyone else. Even though my pain was slowly going away, it was still there. I felt like I was betraying Jinwoo if I chose someone else. I knew I wasn’t, but my heart ached anyway. I really didn’t know what to think at this point.

“Mr. Kim, are you feeling alright?” The soft voice of my doctor asked. I nodded my head, pulling my puppy closer to myself. “Is there anything you need?”

“Does he have water? And food?” I asked, my nose resting in the puppy’s fur. 

“Your red haired friend fed him,” the doctor said, causing me to frown. I didn’t know anyone with red hair. “He didn’t say his name. He’s here all the time. I think he was there when the ambulance picked you up. If my notes are correct, he’s the one that wrapped up your foot.”

“Kookie,” I whispered, a small smile appearing on my lips as I hugged Jinwoo closer to myself. I was happy that Jungkook was taking care of my dog for me. I didn’t even know he dyed his hair. He told me his hair was black not to long ago. “Is he still here?”

“I think he’s out in the waiting room. He wanted to let you sleep,” the doctor responded, causing me to frown. “Do you want him to come in?”

I just nodded my head, not sure of what to say. I wanted him to be next to me, but at the same time I just wanted to shove my feelings of him away. As far away as possible. But everytime he was around me, those feelings would plummet. I was having a constant battle in my heart, and it scared me. But I knew I couldn’t keep him away. 

After a few moments, I heard footsteps coming into the room. I could hear Jungkook’s light steps next to the doctor’s heavy steps. I didn’t say anything, burying my face fully into my puppy’s back. The room went completely silent after that. I really didn’t know what I actually wanted to say to Jungkook. My heart honestly felt heavy.

“Hey,” Jungkook said into the silence. I bit my lip and lifted my head, running my hands down the dog’s back.

“Hey,” I replied, my voice quiet. He and I haven’t really talked since he kissed me 3 weeks ago. We just said the awkward hellos and he sat next to me silently. When I was home the last two weeks before I had to come back in for the surgery, he only spoke to me when he had to help me around the house or help me get food. I don’t know why he was so awkward. Maybe he regretted kissing me. Despite it just being a small peck on the lips. I didn’t talk to him because he didn’t talk to me.

“How are you feeling?” he asked me. I chewed my lip and pulled away from Jinwoo.

“They have me on meds,” I responded. “I don’t really feel any pain right now.”

“I see,” he said, before falling into an awkward silence again. I closed my eyes, letting out a deep sigh. I was starting to get really annoyed by the silence, even though I know I played a big part in it. I missed talking to him. And if that meant going against what my mind was telling me, then so be it. If I had to figure out the relationship I had with Jungkook. If I had to start to move on from Jinwoo, then I guess that’s life. I didn’t want to, but I knew in my heart I had to.

“Jungkook,” I finally said, my voice stronger than I thought it would be. “What’s going on here? Between me and you?”

“I think it’s inappropriate on my end to say,” Jungkook said, causing me to frown. 

“Why?” I asked, wishing I could see the look on his face. I wished I could see his face period. “Why is it inappropriate to say?”

“I… I can’t Yugyeom,” Jungkook said, causing me to groan. 

“Tell me, Jungkook,” I said, growing impatient. “Why did you kiss me?”

Jungkook went completely silent. This frustrated me even more. I almost wanted to cry out at him. I wanted to leave, to cause a scene and slam the door shut. I didn’t want to be here with him if he was going to avoid this topic. We’ve been avoiding it for far too long. 

“Why did you kiss me?” I asked again, closing my eyes.

“I… Because I like you,” Jungkook told me. Instead of me opening my eyes in shock, I just nodded my head. As if I knew this were the answer. As if I just accepted it. “Because I like you and I hate that I like you. I shouldn’t like you. Not when you’re going through… everything. I can’t betray the Bro Code like that. Jinwoo would kill me. And… I’ve liked you since the moment we met. Before I knew you and Jinwoo liked each other. I liked you. And that… that’s why I’ve been distant. That’s why I spent more time with Jimin. Because I didn’t want to fall deeper for you. And I did. And it hurts. It hurts to love a man who is unavailable.”

“But,” I said, my voice calm. “I am available. He… He would want me to be happy. He would want you to be happy. He would want us to move on. And even though my mind is trying to tell me one thing. Trying to tell me to not move on. To only think about Jinwoo for the rest of my life… Well, my heart is telling me something different. It’s been almost two months now. It’s time for me to start living again. And if that means giving a new relationship a chance, then maybe I should. Maybe I should just follow my heart. That’s what he would want.”

“Wait…. what?” Jungkook asked, his voice laced with shock. “Are you…. are you saying you would date me?”

“I’m saying I’m willing to give a relationship with you a try,” I said, not even stuttering on my words. I don’t know where the courage came from. “Minhyuk and Myungjun both said I needed to move on. And they’re right. But before we make any commitments, you need to understand something. I am broken. I will always love Jinwoo. He will always be my first. But I’m willing to let loose. I’m… willing to give love a shot again. But know I’m going to be terrified. I’m going to be hurt. I miss him a lot, Jungkook.”

“I can acknowledge that,” Jungkook told me. “I know how much you love him. How much you miss him. But in spite of that, I like you a lot Kim Yugyeom. I don’t care how broken you are. Because I want to stand by you through it all.”

“Jungkook,” I said, closing my eyes and hugging Jinwoo again. “Forgive me.”

“I’m not going to force you into anything, Yugyeom,” Jungkook told me. “Do what makes you comfortable. I like you, and that’s not going to change.”

I stayed quiet, knowing it was unfair of me to chicken out. And I wanted to blame it on Jinwoo. I hated him for leaving me. It was his fault that I didn’t know how to like someone else. I was so in love with him and now I had to start over. I was scared to start over. And through it all I wanted him back. I wanted him to come back. I wanted to be happy and love Jungkook, but at the same time I didn’t want to let go of Jinwoo.

“What’s the date?” I suddenly asked.

“September 1st,” Jungkook said, causing me to wince. It was Jungkook’s birthday. 

“Some birthday, huh?” I asked, bitterly. “Spending it by my side at a hospital. Getting turned down by the guy you like. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

“This is all I can ask for for my birthday,” Jungkook told me, taking a hold of my hands. “To be with you. That’s all I need.”

“I’m sorry to ask you this,” I said, shyly. “But… that day… It’s going to be here soon. I was gonna propose to him… at his favorite park in his hometown. Can you… Will you bring me there? On the fourth? I know I would just be getting home from surgery… But I need to go… I want to spread his ashes…”

“Where’s his favorite park?” Jungkook asked, his voice soft.

“Ilsan Lake Park,” I said, lifting my head with a sad smile. “I always… I always wanted to go to that park.. To see it. I’ll never be able to see it now. But at least… He can have his final resting place be at the park…”

“Are you ready for that?” Jungkook asked me, causing me to shake my head. I didn’t want to let go of his ashes, but I knew I had to. I couldn’t hold on to him forever. “Then why?”

“It’s the only way I can let go,” I said with a deep sigh. “I know this is unfair of me to ask you on your birthday and everything… I’m sorry..”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jungkook told me. I could hear the smile in his voice. “I think this will be good for the both of us.”

“I hate him,” I whispered, as Jungkook pulled me into a hug. Once again I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks. “I miss him so much.”

“I know,” Jungkook told me, running his hands down my back. “I know you do. I miss him too. I regret never getting to meet him.”

“He would have loved you, Kookie,” I said with a bittersweet smile. “He would have done everything to make this the most important birthday for you, did you know that? It’s your twenty first. He would have given you the world.”

“That would have been so nice,” he said with a soft sigh. “Let’s make up for it when you’re out of the hospital. For him.”

“I’ll make sure I celebrate with you, Jeon Jungkook,” I promised. “When I’m not stuck on this bed with a broken ankle, about to go into surgery. I’ll make sure of it.”

“You’re a saint, did you know that?” Jungkook asked with a small chuckle. “I can’t wait to spend more time with you.”

“Jungkook?” I asked, pulling out of the hug. “Did Jimin… Did he propose to Taehyung yet?”

“He did,” Jungkook responded. “And Taehyung accepted.”

“I’m happy for them,” I said, a small smile appearing on my lips. “I’m so happy for them. I wish them happiness and love. I want them to have a good life. I want to get to know them.”

“And you will,” Jungkook assured me. “You’ll get to know them really well. They decided they’re going to move here.”

“Good,” I replied. “I’m excited. They’ll love living here in Seoul.”

“They will,” Jungkook agreed, just as the doctor came back in.

“I’m sorry,” the doctor told us. “But visiting hours are over.”

“I’ll see you after the surgery,” Jungkook promised, kissing me on the cheek. “Good luck.”


	12. Chapter Eleven

“Jinwoo,” I said, holding his urn close to me as I sat in front of the lake. Jungkook had taken me to the lake, even though I was in a wheelchair and very much in pain after the surgery. That didn’t stop me however. I could feel the breeze coming from the water as tears fell down my cheeks. It hurt even more that today was the day I was planning to start my life with him. Not end everything. “Are you listening? Are you here with me? With Jungkook?”

I could hear the puppy rustling around in the grass. I didn’t know how to continue as I let a sob escape from my lips. Jungkook squeezed my shoulders, letting me know he was still here. I bit my lip, trying to stop my shaking body. I took a deep breath, bracing myself to continue.

“Jinwoo,” I said again. “I… Loving you is like picking petals from a flower. I hate you. I miss you. I hate you. I miss you. But… Whichever petal I end up with… Will you please come back?”

I fully broke down after that, hugging the urn tightly to myself. The puppy placed his front paws on my knees, reaching up to lick my face. I tried to smile but I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready to give this final goodbye to Jinwoo. It hurt so much. Jungkook was soon in front of me, reaching over to hug me. Sitting down in a wheelchair made this all ten times more awkward. But I didn’t care much. My whole being ached. I don’t think I’ve ever cried this hard in my life. I wanted Jinwoo back in my arms. I wanted to see his smile again. To hold his hand. But I’ll never get that again. 

Jungkook didn’t say a word, which made me very thankful. He let me continue to cry, to catch my breath. It felt like hours until I actually calmed down. And even then, Jungkook continued to hold me. And he continued to hold me for another ten minutes. When he finally pulled away, I felt like I could at least breath again.

“Hyung,” Jungkook said, letting out a deep breath. “Hi. I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier. But I’ve been trying to take care of your boyfriend here. He’s been hurting a lot. He misses you alot. He’ll never stop loving you. But I promise to continue to stay by his side no matter what. I gave up my one shot to be a Korean Idol, but I have come to terms with that. I don’t regret it, though. If I could have made this decision sooner, maybe I would have been able to meet you. But Jinwoo hyung, I want you to know that you will always be my best friend. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“Asking me out won’t hurt him,” I suddenly blurted out. I could hear Jungkook’s breath hitch at my statement. “Everyone’s right. Jinwoo will want us both to be happy. I… I want us both to be happy. So, if Jinwoo agrees, then I think maybe I’m willing to give it a try.”

“What do you say, Jinwoo?” Jungkook asked. Puppy Jinwoo answered with a bark, causing me and Jungkook to actually bust out in laughter for the first time these last few days. I ruffled the dogs fur, finally feeling a little lighter. “I think that’s Jinwoo’s answer.”

I smiled and brought my hand back, holding tightly onto the urn. I knew it was time. I had to free him. I lifted my head towards Jungkook, waiting for him to help me up. I was supposed to stay in the wheelchair, but I think this moment was too dyer to be stuck in the chair.

“Please walk me to the water,” I requested Jungkook. “I don’t want to wheel down.”

“Okay,” Jungkook agreed, carefully helping me out of the chair. I clung tightly to the urn with one hand as I wrapped my other arm around Jungkook’s waist. He then slowly turned us around, being careful not to let me put any weight on my foot. He then slowly made his way down to the water with me clinging onto him. I surprisingly kept a death grip on the urn. “Okay, we’ll stop right here. One more step and you’ll be in the lake.”

“Can you… help me take off the lid?” I asked. I heard the clanking of the lid on the jar and Jungkook took it off. I closed my eyes and kissed the urn, a tear running down my cheek. “Be free in the wind, Jinjin. I just wanted you to know… This is where I was going to take you today. This is where I wanted to propose to you. Though I’m sure we would already be engaged by now. I… 11 years ago today was the first day we met. I will never forget that day. I’ll never forget the way you helped me. I love you so much, Jinjin. I’ll never ever forget you. But it’s time that I learned how to move on. It’s time that I let you go. I love you so much.”

I then had Jungkook guide me in spreading the ashes into the water. More tears ran down my cheeks, but they weren’t suffocating like my previous tears have been. Once the urn was empty, I handed it to Jungkook for him to set down. He then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I wanted to cry more, but it seemed like I couldn’t. I was happy that I could finally set Jinwoo free. It felt almost relieving. 

Jungkook and I stayed in that position for a long time. My leg was starting to hurt for putting all my weight on it, but I didn’t care. A small breeze was what ended up breaking us apart. And Jinwoo running laps around our legs. I chuckled and leaned on Jungkook for support. I felt ten times better than I have since the accident. 

“Can we go?” I asked.

“Of course,” Jungkook told me. I nodded my head and turned my head towards the lake one last time.

“I’ll come visit you, Jinwoo,” I said into the wind. “I love you. I miss you. But… I need to live my life now. Thank you so much for everything.”

“Thank you, hyung,” Jungkook said. “I’ll see you around, yeah? Whatever you do, don’t stop watching over Yugyeom. He needs you more than anything.”

I smiled softly and let Jungkook lead me to my wheelchair. Once I was sitting and comfortable with my feet on my foot rest, Jungkook handed me Jinwoo’s leash and the urn. I softly thanked him and let him roll me away from the lake. I didn’t turn my head towards the lake, because I knew I would want to stay if I did. I had to stay strong. I had to leave. The chapter in my life with Jinwoo was over. He’ll always be in my heart, but I knew I had to stay strong and live my life. 

Jungkook wheeled me up to his car. He then helped me into the front seat. As much as I didn’t want to be sitting in the front seat, I had to. I had to face my fear in cars. Because cars weren’t going away. It took a lot of convincing from everyone to even get me to sit in the passenger’s seat. I wanted to refuse. I wanted them to help me into the backseat. But no matter what, everything still tried to get me into the front seat. They didn’t force me, per say, but they were very very convincing.

After I was in the front seat, and Jinwoo buckled to the back seat, Jungkook got into the car as well. He started the car, and I could also hear him click in his seatbelt. He then reached over and grabbed a hold onto my hand. He gave it a reassuring squeeze before letting go to control the front wheel. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the window. I felt extremely tired and all I wanted to do was sleep.

“Are you up for a dinner with your brother?” Jungkook suddenly asked, causing me to pop my head up. So far for wanting to sleep.

“Where at?” I asked, crossing my fingers together.

“The restraunt you booked for you and Jinwoo… They tried calling to see if you still wanted to do the reservation. Since Himchan hyung has your phone, he answered. He didn’t decline, but instead said there would be four people,” Jungkook told me. I slowly nodded my head. “If you don’t want to go, he’ll bring Daehyun and Youngjae instead. It’s up to you.”

“Let’s go,” I said. “For Jinwoo.”

“Okay,” Jungkook agreed. I leaned my head against the window again as he drove. Maybe I could take a small nap on the way to dinner.

I let myself dose off, trying hard not to think of Jinwoo. Of course this day being the day it is, and spreading his ashes, none of that helped. I didn’t know if I should be happy right now or if I should ditch everything and go home and cry myself to bed. But Jungkook was making it so that I didn’t seem too upset. And I knew he would follow through with whatever decision I made.

I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep until I felt Jungkook tapping me awake. I shot up with a start, blinking my eyes just a little. For some reason, I could see a bright light. It confused the hell out of me. It wasn’t black, like I was used to. But like a bright white light. 

“What’s going on?” I asked in confusion. “Are there lights shining on me?”

“No?” Jungkook said in confusion. “It’s normal lighting. Why?”

“Everything’s… White. As if a flashlight were shining in my eyes,” I told him. 

“That’s… a little alarming,” Jungkook admitted, causing me to nod my head. I was gonna say something when there was a sudden knock on my door. I jumped in shock, causing Jungkook to chuckle. 

“Hey guys,” the voice of my brother said. I then noticed that Jungkook had rolled down the window. “What are you guys doing sitting in the car? Come on, the reservation is about to start! We should get inside.”

“Um,” Jungkook said, placing his hand on my arm. “We actually have something really weird going on.”

“Weird?” Himchan asked in confusion. “What’s up?”

“All I can see right now is a bright white light,” I told him. “I don’t understand why. I don’t know what it is.”

“Ah,” Himchan said, an unreadable tone in his voice. “The doctor said this could happen.”

“He did?” I asked with a frown. “Then what does that mean?”

“So the damage done to your eyes is a burning in the back of the retina due to the lights,” Himchan told me. “The nerves in your eyes are working on trying to heal the damage done. The doctor said that your blindness may very well not be permanent. He says your condition may be Optic Neuritis. He wasn’t sure, so he didn’t say anything. It’s the inflammation of your optic nerves, which was caused by the lights of that truck. It could have been the flash of that camera, but we can’t be sure. Optic Neuritis is usually temporary. And since you’re seeing light, that means it’s very possible your vision is coming back.”

“Why would it come back now/” I asked, slightly confused.

“It’s hard to know,” Himchan responded. “Maybe the world is trying to repay you from all the wrong it’s done to you.”

“If my vision comes back, I’ll be the happiest man in the world,” I said with a small laugh. “Let’s get inside and eat. We’ll just let time do it’s thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the end :( I'm so sorry it's been taking forever for me to update you guys. I'm not used to Ao3 tbh lol. But I hope you've enjoyed the story so far.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. Thank you for everyone's love and support on this story <3 I hope you enjoyed it. Now please enjoy this final chapter.

I sat in the livingroom with Jungkook next to me. It’s been a couple days, and we were finally having a conversation about us. About what’s going to happen between us. Things have still been awkward, so we knew we had to discuss it all. I decided it would be best to fully accept him. To build a relationship with him. 

“So,” Jungkook said, causing me to turn towards him. I could see a blurry shape in front of me. I was finally seeing color again, but I couldn’t make out any details. Everything was a blurry blob of colors. The doctor confirmed that my sight was coming back. “What do you think?”

“About accepting you?” I asked with a crooked smile. I reached over and grabbed his hand in my own, squeezing it. “Jungkook, I do want to give us a try. Yeah I think we should try it out. I do really like you, Jungkook. It might take me awhile to get used to the idea of us. But I still like the possibility. So yeah, I think I want to try it.”

“Then.. Would it be weird if I asked you to be my boyfriend?” Jungkook asked. I could feel a blush forming on my cheeks at his question.

“I’m okay with that,” I said, my voice almost a whisper. “I would love to be your boyfriend.”

“And I will accept you for who you are. You’re healing, and I acknowledge that,” Jungkook said, pulling me into a hug. “I’m okay with you loving Jinwoo more than me.”

“Then I think things might just work out,” I said, hugging him back. “Thank you for accepting me for me. You’re really a saint, Jeon Jungkook.”

“I’m no saint,” Jungkook said with a laugh, pulling back. “Is it to soon… Would it be weird if I kissed you?”

He didn’t have to wait for a response from me. I wanted to kiss him. So I placed my hands on either side of his face, trying to look at him. All I could really see was the color of his face and his red hair. I smiled and leaned in, capturing his lips with my own. We awkwardly sat there for a few seconds, before Jungkook brought his hand up to the back of my head and pulled me closer. He deepened the kiss, causing electricity to shoot down my body. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth the kiss gave me. It was an innocent touch of the lips, but it felt like pure bliss.

Once Jungkook pulled away, I just sat there with my eyes closed. I let the feeling linger on my lips, enjoying the feel. I no longer felt guilty towards Jinwoo. I’ll say it once again. Everyone is right. Park Jinwoo would want me to be happy, to find love again. So I was willing to give Jungkook a try. And the happiness I felt from that one kiss is the most happiness I’ve felt since Jinwoo’s death.

I slowly opened my eyes, blurry detail coming into view. I could see it. A face right in front of me. Brown eyes, slightly blurry, staring at me. A cute, slightly squashed, nose. Small, thin lips that were slightly open, admitting cute crooked teeth that reminded me of a bunny. I suddenly felt tears in my eyes. I was seeing Jungkook for the first time in person. I was seeing for the first time in a couple months. This was probably the happiest moment in my life. And all I wanted to do was cry. I couldn’t believe it. 

“Hey? What’s wrong?” Jungkook asked, softly. I watched as his hands came up to my cheeks, his thumb wiping away my tears. “Don’t cry.”

“You… You look like a bunny,” I said with a small whisper. He stopped and stared at me, everything still slightly blurry. I moved my hand so that I could touch his hair. “Your hair is so soft.”

“Yugyeom,” Jungkook said, his voice a little gruff. “D...Did you just say I look like a bunny?”

“Yeah,” I said, softly playing with his hair. I heard a bark, causing me to pull away from Jungkook and turn my head. I could see the face of a chocolate lab sitting by the couch. He was still blurry, meaning I should probably get my eyes checked now that my vision was back. I probably was going to be sentenced to a life of wearing glasses, but I was totally fine with that.

Jinwoo was bigger than I imagined. But it made sense, since he was almost 8 months now. He was standing next to the couch, his tail wagging 90 miles per second. His long, pink tongue, was hanging out of his mouth. And he had his service dog vest on. It was more of a red harness that had words on it I couldn’t make out. Jungkook told me when it arrived two days ago that it said “Service Dog. Do Not Pet.” on it. But Jinwoo’s fur looked just as soft as it felt.

“Jinwoo,” I whispered, biting my lip. “You look like a chocolate cloud.”

“Yugyeom!” Jungkook cried out, causing me to turn on him again. It looked like his jaw might actually drop to the floor. “Are you… Can you see?!”

“I can,” I told him, a small grin appearing on my lips. “Everything’s really blurry, but I can see. I’m seeing you and Jinwoo for the first time ever.”

“Oh my god!” Jungkook cried out, crashing me into a hug. “Oh my god! I can’t believe it.”

“Can’t believe what?” the voice of my brother asked. Jungkook backed out of the hug, jumping up excitedly. I don’t think I could ever erase the look of his bright smile out of my mind.

“Your brother!” Jungkook cried out, pointing at me. “He can see!”

“You can see?!” Himchan asked in shock.

“You can see?!” the voice of Yongguk repeated as he came running into the room.

“How many fingers am I holding up?!” Himchan asked, placing his hand in front of my face.

“Five,” I said, batting his hand away. Himchan literally squealed and wrapped his hands around me in a hug. I chuckled and hugged him back. “I need to tell Minhyuk.”

“You should text him,” Jungkook said with a small  laugh. “Wait for him to realize that you’re actually texting him.”

“Good idea,” I said, reaching my hand out. “Whoever has my phone, you should hand it over.”

“Here,” Himchan said, reaching into his pocket. He then placed a rose gold iphone into my hand. Himchan ended up buying this phone for me after my other phone broke. I was forever grateful to him for that.

I placed my thumb on the lock button, easily unlocking the phone. The home screen was very generic. There wasn’t really any way I could have changed it anyway. I couldn’t really make out words, but I ran my thumb easily along the screen to click on the contacts list. I then brought the phone really close to my face so that I could read it. It was still blurry, but I was able to make out everything the phone had on it. I scrolled down to Minhyuk’s contact, clicking on it. I then clicked on the little message icon before the screen changed to a text message screen

A smile appeared on my face as I stared at the screen I missed so badly. The keyboard was lit up, waiting for me to type something. Audio description was still on, but I could care less as I typed in a few letters. I stared for a long time, making sure I typed everything in correctly. I wanted to make sure I didn’t make any typos now that I could see again.

‘Hey Minhyuk. I hope you’re doing well. I have something important to tell you,’ is what the message read. I grinned and sent the send message. 

“What’s the first thing you saw?” Himchan asked, his voice laced with excitement.

“Jungkook’s eyes,” I said, grinning at the other boy. 

I was happy that I could finally see Jungkook in person. That I could finally make out what my boyfriend looked like. My heart was doing somersaults. He was more beautiful, more perfect, than I could ever imagine. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. 

“I’m glad I was the first thing you saw,” Jungkook said with a sappy grin. He sat down on my lap, facing me and being careful of my foot. He was straddling my hips with his knees, his legs folded in. I pulled him in close so that our chests were almost touching.

“Wow,” I breathed out, looking into his eyes. “You’re so hot.”

“You’re not too bad yourself,” he said with a small chuckle. I brought my hand up and flicked his nose. He just giggled and leaned in, placing a small kiss on my lips. 

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Himchan said, causing me to grin into Jungkook’s lips. “What’s going on here?”

I ignored my brother and wrapped my arms around Jungkook’s neck, leaning my forehead against his. We stared into each other’s eyes, my heart beating a little faster. It was honestly a breathtaking sight. I couldn’t stop thanking the heavens for giving me my sight back. It was literally a miracle. 

My phone chimed, causing Jungkook to groan in annoyance as I pulled slightly away, picking my phone up off the couch. I brought it close to my face so that I could read the words. ‘Hey hyung. I’m okay. What’s up?’ Minhyuk responded. I smiled, about to reply when another message came in. ‘Wait..’ it read, causing me to chuckle. Another message came in. ‘You texted me.’ I pressed on the text box as he wrote something else. ‘Did someone show you how to text or something?’

‘No one taught me anything.’ I typed and press the send button. I stared at the phone for a while, knowing that he was going to call me. And just as I thought, a phone call came in. Jungkook took the phone out of my hands, answering the call and placing it on speaker. I glared and smacked his chest, causing him to chuckle.

“Minhyuk!” Jungkook cried out. “How are you?”

“Why do you have Yugyeom hyung’s phone?” Minhyuk asked. I could hear the pout in his tone. “Were you messing with me?”

“He wasn’t messing with you,” I told the boy. “That was me texting you.”

“What’s going on hyung?” Minhyuk asked me. “You haven’t texted me before. And your replies came in pretty fast.”

“What’s going on?” I asked with a small smile. “Only the fact that I can see again.”

“WHAT?!” Minhyuk screamed out. I’m really glad I didn’t have the phone up to my ear. “You… Can see?!”

“Yeah,” I said. “My sight came back. It was coming back in phases. For a while I was seeing just white. Then swirls of color. And today after Jungkook kissed me, I saw him. I mean everything is blurry and I’ll need to go in for glasses now. But I can see.”

“Back up… JUNGKOOK KISSED YOU?!” Minhyuk asked, causing both me and Jungkook to break out in laughter. “You decided to give him a try?!”

“Yeah, we’re together now,” I said, smiling at Jungkook. And in that moment I knew everything was going to be fine. I was finally happy. I could finally see. I knew life was changing for the better. That’s all I could ask for. All I needed was to be happy. All I needed was to see again. All I needed was for Jungkook to be in my arms. Finally I can live a life I wanted. It was time to start my new life. To live life to it’s fullest. And I knew Jinwoo would always be in my heart. And that didn’t make me sad anymore. It made me happy. Feel complete. This was my unforeseen destiny. And I was okay with that. 

 


End file.
